Paradox
by GirlOnTheSidelines
Summary: When you hate someone you become blind to their virtues in a similar way to when you love someone, you become blind to their faults. This is the story of how a young woman learned that the difference between loving and hating a person is never as clear as it seems and that just because you hate a person, it does not mean you cannot fall in love with them too.
1. Fury

**Chapter One – Fury**

**_April 2022_**

The shattering of bone beneath my knuckles feels good. His blood explodes over both of us, soaking my robes as I swing my arm back again. He looks like the coward that he is – hunched up against the wall, shielding himself from my blows without even _trying_ to defend himself.

"_Weasley!_" Oh Merlin. I think there is actually more surprise in the Headmaster voice than anger but I can tell I am going to be in _so _much trouble for this – how can I not be? I cannot exactly explain to him why I am pounding Malfoy to pulp, can I? That would just be ridiculous. "Weasley! My office now!" the Headmaster roars when I continue to beat Malfoy senseless. I suddenly find my limbs are restricted and I am unable to move. Damn it.

Once Malfoy has scurried off to the Hospital Wing (to have his nose fixed no doubt) the Headmaster releases the Body Binding Curse and I feel my lungs refill with air before I let out a string of obscenities that would shock even Uncle Ron.

"Miss Weasley! Control yourself!" the Headmaster gasps, entirely shocked at my uncharacteristic display of the Weasley temper: I am normally the quiet, reserved and unobtrusive Weasley. At last I run out of breath. "Follow me," he gives me a stern look as if expecting me to run off before turning and marching down to the corridor with me following in his wake.

I have never been to the Headmaster's office before, in fact, I do not really know where it is. He stops in front of a large and fairly ugly stone gargoyle that has pieces chipped off everywhere (but then again so do most status in Hogwarts these days, after all, damage caused by a curse is irrevocable). The Headmaster mutters 'Tonks' and the gargoyle begins to move, it reveals a solid stone staircase which spirals upwards when the Headmaster stands on it, I follow his lead and soon find myself in his office. It is very plain, not at all like I imagined it to be but then again our Headmaster _is_ very plain – he is known only as 'the Headmaster' and was appointed after McGonagall retired, just appearing out of the blue; no one knows his past history and I swear even the other Professors do not know his name; McGonagall appointed him so everyone trusts him and he has never given anyone reason to doubt him.

"Take a seat," he indicated to the wooden chair across from his desk, I hesitantly obey him. "Now Miss Weasley, I will not deny that I am exceedingly surprised at your behaviour, I assume that you had a reason for attacking Mr Malfoy and would I be correct that you would rather not discuss it with me?" He peers over his large steel rimmed spectacles, his eyes are murky brown and I feel like they can see right into me… perhaps he was performing Legilimency, is that even _legal_? Making a mental note to ask Rose about it I nod. "In that case, Miss Weasley, I have no choice but to give you detention – which you will serve with Professor Longbottom – every Sunday until the end of term, I will also deduct 50 house points from Gryffindor. I really do not have any other choice: we cannot allow such behaviour to go unpunished, even for – _especially _for – a Prefect. I suggest next time you feel the need to vent your anger, Miss Weasley, that you do so outside of the school grounds." He looks down at his desk and begins shuffling papers; I take this as my cue to leave and back out of the room slowly.

As I escape from the gargoyle I marvel to myself. Detention every Saturday until the end of term… The end of term was only two weeks away, sure the 50 points lost was not great but only _two _detentions? It seems a bit light, I mean when my brother was at school, he would pull a tiny prank and get a whole month's worth of detention and here I am, breaking Malfoy's nose and beating him practically to pulp and I get _two,_ only _two_, measly little detentions. The Headmaster must have it in for Malfoy or something because this seems a little bit unfair – not that I am complaining of course.

"Roxie, where've you been? I've been looking all over for you," Lara runs over to me as I climb through the portrait hole. "Have you heard? Malfoy got beaten up and I mean _properly_ beaten up, there was blood everywhere! A whole trail of it through the corridors, it was disgusting." She pulls a face. "I wonder who would _do_ that! I mean Malfoy is a complete twat, don't get me wrong," she hastens to add on, knowing my dislike for anything 'Malfoy'. "It just seems a little bit extreme don't you think?"

"Maybe they had a good reason to do it," I mutter darkly. Lara Coote may be one of my best friends but right now I need to be alone. "See you in a bit," I say as I jump up the stairs to our dorms. Luckily she does not follow.

Our dorm is empty – of people at least – clothes, books, quills, parchment, magazines… you name it and they are probably on the floor of our dorm right now. We were never a tidy group but we seem to have gotten progressively worse over the years. I slump down onto my four poster bed and hold my head in my hands. I still cannot believe it. Downstairs, I can hear Lara shouting about something but as I silently thank Merlin she did not follow me up to the dorm, I hear the pounding of footsteps on the stairs. I immediately retract my thanks.

"Roxie! Roxie!" Lara shouts as she slams open the door to our dorm, her face alive with excitement. "It must have been a _Gryffindor_! The one who beat up Malfoy! It must have been – we have lost fifty points! They must have detentions until the end of the _year_!" she breathes out, curiosity and excitement fighting for dominance in her face.

"Only until the end of term," I correct her blandly.

"The end of term? That doesn't seem very long, are you sure…? How do you know anyway?" she asks in such quick concession I wonder if she actually took a breath between the questions.

"Because I was the one who did it," I sigh – I am sure it will get around somehow (these things always do), so I might as well tell her now. Lara laughs. She actually laughs; clutching her side and rolling onto her bed. "It is not funny Coote!" I protest which just makes her laugh harder. Not for the first time, I find myself questioning her sanity.

"Sheesh Rox, you really do have your brother's sense of humour sometimes… Imagine that – Roxanne Weasley, quiet and reserved, beating the brains out of evil Slytherin Malfoy," she falls back down in hysterics.

"I don't have to _imagine_ it Lara, I just have to _remember_ it… And trust me: it was not a pretty sight," I snap. She hiccups slightly and looks at me, somewhat bewildered.

"Are you _serious_? You actually beat up Malfoy? Merlin's saggy left-"

"Thank you Lara," I hold up my hand to stop her from continuing with such obscenities.

"_Why_?" she whispers in shock.

"I really don't want to talk about it …"

"Roxanne Hannah Weasley!" Rose's scream from the common room distracts Lara's attention. I can hear my cousin's feet pounding at on the stairs and wonder if there is anywhere I can hide but I am too late, the door flies open once again. "What on _earth_ do you think you were doing? You could have been _expelled_!" the look of horror on her face is comical.

"Chill, Rose, you sound like you mum," I grin, trying to avert her attention. She really does though, as much as I love Aunt Hermione, from the stories Uncle Ron tells us, after he has had a little too much firewhiskey, she was a bit of a goody two shoes at school. I mean, I'm never the first one to jump at a chance to break school rules like _some_ of my family, but neither am I as rigid about them as Rose can be.

"Beating up Malfoy?" she screams ignoring me. "Not even _James_ has ever sunken that low! Made his life hell, sure – but never actually physically assaulted him! Have you gone mad! Please tell me you have at least _some_ reason for doing this! Nothing can excuse it but you must have had _some_ provocation!" Trust Rose Weasley to start throwing fancy words around – I understand them of course but there is really no need for them. It will just confuse the likes of Lara, who is currently cowering out of Rose's line of sight. And Rose is not even yelling at _her_.

In answer to her question all I can do, is shake my head: I cannot tell her. I cannot tell a soul. Even if it was, in my opinion, a very good reason.

I stretch my legs out under the table kicking Max in the shin, he grins at me. Crap. Now he thinks I want to play footsie. Bless him, Max Jordan has this bizarre crush on me that he doesn't even try to hide, after five years of it I am kind of use to it and I think he knows nothing will ever happen between us but still, I do _not_ want to play footsie. Retracting my feet, I turn to Professor Zabini; most kids hate Zabini and I can understand why but to be honest I don't think he is that bad – it makes a change you know, not to be immediately praised because your parents were close to Harry Potter. I know my dad wasn't even that close but still, as a member of the Weasley family we seem to be connected with the Golden Trio everywhere we go. It is even worse for poor Rose and Al: their parents were actually _part_ of the Trio.

"Today we will be making Amortentia," Zabini says in his monotonous voice. "Amortentia is a love potion," several girls break out into giggle and whispers while the boys look uncomfortable, Zabini just talks over them as if preaching to an empty room. "It does not, however, actually produce love, it is simply an illusion that will wear off in time and the victim will be fully aware they have been under the influence of the potion." He then continues to explain how the potion is made and what ingredients we will need, after writing this down he returns to his desk and begins shuffling papers around – seriously that is all he does: shuffle papers.

Al and I get up to get the ingredients while Rose just stares blankly into space, I wave my hand in front of her face and she jumps. "Please remember Rose, this is just an illusion of love – don't go feeding it down Creevey's neck expecting him to fall in love with you because he won't… and you might even get expelled," I tease, making her turn a furious shade of red. Professor Creevey is our Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor and he has a mighty fine ass (despite being at least forty) which Rose spends most Defence lessons ogling at. She glares at me, oops, I had forgotten she has still not forgiven me for beating the crap out of Malfoy – who, incidentally, is glaring at me from the other side of the classroom. I cringe slightly when I see him: his face is a mask of black and blue and purple bruises, his nose – although fixed – is swollen, blending in with the heavy black bags under his eyes. Did I really cause that much damage? I am surprised his father hasn't come complaining that I should be expelled.

I still have not told anyone why I did it.

I begin mixing my potion together and as I watch it simmer, smoke spiralling from the cauldron, I notice a girl at the back of the classroom glance over at our table. She is in Slytherin, her pale skin and black hair are the complete opposite to my milk brown skin and unique hair that hovers somewhere between dark brown and fiery red, but I would still describe her as beautiful, although in a mysterious sort of way. Slytherins normally ignore us Gryffindors and as far as I am aware, she has followed this trend, so why on earth does she keep looking at our table?

"Rose, what's that girl's name?" I ask, indicating discreetly to the Slytherin. Rose (forgetting she is mad at me) turns around and stares at the girl in question – it is times like this when I see her father in her.

"Nott, Vivian Nott," she growls. "Why?"

"Nothing, she just keeps looking over at us is all." Rose turns to glare at the girl who quickly turns back to her potion – which looks almost done. Rose's mood progresses downhill from then onwards and I make a mental note not to bring up that girl again, apparently she pisses my cousin off.

"What does your potion smell of Roxie?" Max winks from across the table. "Mine smells of you." I raise an eyebrow.

"Amortentia smells unique to every person…" explains Rose. "It smells of what they find most attractive-" Max winks at me again "-even if they do not know it themselves." She sighs; I wonder what hers smells of.

"Well mine smells of… Dad's shop… Chocolate Frogs… And something else… Kind of musty… I don't know how to describe it…" I frown – I have definitely smelled that smell before, but… where? "What does yours smell of Al?"

"Nothing," he says bluntly, turning away. I'd bet my broom that he smelled a girl. Al, or Albus, is a somewhat shy and reserved guy, kind of like me in a way. Rose takes a sniff of hers and goes bright red; making a guttural sound, she knocks over her cauldron and storms out of the room. Wow. I have seen Rose lose her temper before – normally at James or Hugo – but never quite so badly. I whip out my wand to clean up the mess as Zabini clearly is not bothered, he simply tells someone to tell Weasley that she has a detention with him on Sunday.

Al looks glum as he stares into his potion – Al has been looking glum a lot lately and I would not be surprised if the reason was the same girl who I am convinced he smells in his potion. I would help him out, the only problem is: I have no idea who the girl is. Sure, Al has been with a few girls (Lara Coote for example) but he has never had anything serious, he is just like James, his brother – although he would kill me for saying it. Both of them seem incapable of maintaining a relationship for anything over a month. So who on earth could make Al act like this? I have never seen him act so odd before… He must have fallen hard.

Student start filtering out of the classroom after bottling their potions, Max offers to stay and help but I just shoo him on, Al has already vanished and Rose did not come back. Lara and Nina Jones also offer to help but I am fine on my own, preferring a few moments alone with my thoughts. I am curious as to the case of Rose's outburst but the main question lingering in my thoughts is Al. He is miserable and I want to help him.

After cleaning up Rose's mess and sorting out my own potion, I am one of the last people to leave the classroom. On my way out I catch a whiff of something… something kind of musty… I spin around to see where the smell comes from and am greeted by an almost empty classroom and one terrified looking Slytherin.


	2. Revelations

**Chapter Two – Revelations**

**_April 2022_**

As Rose and I trudge down to the Entrance Hall neither of us speaks, she refuses to explain why she lost her cool in Potions and I refuse to explain why I lost my cool on Malfoy. She nods as she heads down to the dungeons and I push open the heavy wooden door to get to the Greenhouses. I nod back.

The grounds are unusually quiet; I guess the unseasonal cold has kept most students in doors. I wander down to the Greenhouses and am met by Professor Longbottom. He tries to give me a stern look but just ends up grinning as usual – Longbottom must be the happiest Professor Hogwarts has ever seen: he is always smiling even when he is shouting at someone for mistreating his plants (which he is extremely protective over). He leads me into his tiny office – which to be honest just looks like another small Greenhouse with the amount of plants covering the place – and sits me down at his desk.

"Would you be so kind as to sort these into alphabetical order for me Miss Weasley?" He smiles opening a filing cabinet bursting with papers. I groan inside. To begin with, these files have been sorted countless times – I know, my cousins have been in detention quite a few times – and besides, there is a simple spell that could sort these files instantly but no – as a punishment we must do it by hand, knowing that our work will just get mixed up again for the next poor kid who ends up in detention.

"I don't see I have much choice," I mutter darkly, Longbottom grins and leaves me to it. Hmm… where to start? Then I have a brain wave: these are detention slips – I could find my parents files! Rummaging around I finally find a file marked 'Weasley' or I should really say a _draw_ marked 'Weasley' as there are so many of them. I spot Uncle Ron's file (which is pretty big) and Aunt Ginny's (which is a little bit smaller) Uncle Bill and Uncle Charlie both have files (Charlie's is about twice the size of Bill's though) but I cannot find one for Uncle Percy (surprise, surprise; I expect dad only has a tiny one, after all, Percy is the brother my dad sees the most). Then I find it 'George Weasley', it is tucked behind a folder labelled 'Fred Weasley' which is the same size as my dad's… Why on earth is my brother's file in here? And how is my dad's file so _big_?

I pull out both files, careful not to drop any of the hundreds of pieces of paper contained in them. Sitting down at Longbottom's desk I find the bit of paper with the student's information from the 'Fred Weasley' file, it reads:

_Name: Fred Weasley_

_Date of Birth: 1__st__ April 1978_

_Parents: Arthur and Molly Weasley_

_Siblings: William, Charles, Percy, George, Ronald, Ginevra_

I blink at the parchments: that cannot be right. That is not my brother. If this paper is right that would make this 'Fred Weasley' my uncle. Dad does not have a brother named Fred. I pull out dad's information:

_Name: George Weasley_

_Date of Birth: 1__st__ April 1978_

_Parents: Arthur and Molly Weasley_

_Siblings: William, Charles, Percy, Fred, Ronald, Ginevra_

I stare at the parchment. Dad's birthday is not the 1st April, it was the 2nd May – the same day as the Battle of Hogwarts took place, the same day as my cousin Victoire. Surely, these papers must be wrong. I shuffle though the papers (feeling oddly like Zabini) and begin reading the detention slips… there are thousands of them; my dad must have spent most of his _life_ in detention. This cannot be possible. My dad – quiet, shy and unassuming George Weasley – was not – _could_ not – have been a _prankster_. It just was not possible. Each detention slip reads along the same lines, whoever this 'Fred Weasley' is he was in every single one of my dad's detentions; it is as if they were one person. I spend hours looking through the papers; it could not be possible that _my_ dad had done all these things… "Clogging the bathroom sink;" "Setting fire to Jordan's robes;" "Shoving Montague into a Vanishing Cabinet;" "Selling prohibited goods;" "Setting of fireworks during OWLs…" the lists are endless. I just cannot imagine my dad doing these things.

"Roxanne?" Longbottom calls out. "Are you still here? I thought I said you could leave at ten? It is almost midnight…" he trails off as he comes into his office. There is paper strewn everywhere and I must look a complete mess; I can feel the tear rolling down my cheeks. "Uh… Are you okay?" He asks hesitantly. I shake my head staring at the two piece of parchment with the student details written on them.

"He had a twin." It is not a question, I know it is true: there is no other way to explain this… I break down into proper sobs as Longbottom backs out, mumbling something about getting Katie… I just let the tears stream down my face. How come no one ever thought to tell me my dad had a twin? How come I don't know anything about him yet my brother is named after him?

Longbottom comes hurrying back in with Madame Bell at his heels; Madame Bell is our flying instructor. I cannot stop the tears now that they have started and I just look at them, waiting for someone to speak.

"I'll deal with this Neville," she whispers and Longbottom backs out the room again. "Roxanne," she says gently, conjuring a chair up beside me. "I'm Katie Bell; I was at school with your parents, in the same year in fact." She starts, her voice is calming and my sobs soften. "Fred and George Weasley were some of the greatest pranksters to every walk through the halls of Hogwarts," there is something oddly poetic about her voice. "As you can tell…" she gestures to the slips of paper scattered around us. "They got caught plenty of times but it never stopped them; they loved to make people laugh… During the Battle of Hogwarts Fred was fighting alongside Percy – who I think they had just reconciled with – when an explosion shattered the corridor they were fighting in. Fred died with a smile still etched upon his face." I look up to see tears streaming down Madame Bell's face. "Your father was distraught, nothing and no one could console him; if it wasn't for Angelina – your mother – I don't know if he could have survived it." Bell was sobbing in earnest now. "Your mother was very good friends with both Fred and George, but it was Fred who had always held a special place in her heart… When he died, she collapsed, I couldn't do anything so I just brought her over to his body where George was and they cried over him for almost an entire day and night until they were pulled away so Fred's body could be moved…"

"She loved Fred…?" I ask but I don't think Bell hears me: she is too deep in her own memories.

"Fred was buried the next day and no one saw either George or Angelina for almost a month – Mrs Weasley was heartbroken. Nine months to the day after Fred's funeral, Angelina gave birth to a son which they named Fred (when you were born six years later, everyone was almost as shocked as when your brother was born). Turns out, in the month they were away, they grew closer in their grief and consoled each other the only way they could; they eloped. Neither of them were ever the same after Fred's death." Bell sniffs and wipes away her tears; I leave mine on my cheeks.

My parents have always been a very quiet couple, they never showed any of the lovey dovey stuff Aunt Fleur and Uncle Bill do but that never bothered me. I always thought they were just quiet people. Now I feel like I do not know my own parents at all.

"Why didn't anyone tell me?" I whisper.

"Most people probably assumed you knew," sighs Bell. "The others didn't think it was their place to tell you… Your parents never speak of the Second Wizarding War, they leave the room if someone brings it up, it still hurts them… They never talk about Fred."

"But it was so long ago…"

"I know, but when it happened, a part of George died with Fred… He used to live life with a smile, so did your mother, she was beautiful, funny and talented – she was a chaser on the Gryffindor team with me… I'm sorry you had to find out like this, perhaps someone should have told you but I suppose it is a hard thing to explain…"

Madame Bell still has tears rolling down her face but mine have stopped. A calmness has settled over me, almost a numbness. I nod my head and then get up and leave, leaving a tearful Madame Bell amongst an array of detention slips.

I know what I need to do.

"Tonks," I mutter at the gargoyle. How weird, I wonder why the Headmaster as 'Tonks' as his password. The gargoyle leaps to life and moves out the way so I can climb the staircase. As I push open the Headmaster's door I wonder if he will even be awake.

"Miss Weasley," he sounds startled. "How can I help you at this hour?" The Headmaster is sitting at his desk, stroking his silvery cat.

"I need to see my brother."

"Your brother?" He raises one of his heavy eyebrows in surprise.

"Yes. Now."

"Miss Weasley, are you quite alright? Has someone upset you?" He notices the tear tracks still on my face. "I am afraid I cannot just let my pupils go flooing around the country at this hour with no permission slip from their parents…"

"Headmaster, it is about Fred… my uncle." The Headmaster looks taken aback but quickly recover himself.

"I see… Well, I suppose I can make an exception," apparently even my Headmaster knew about my uncle before me. "So long as you return before breakfast." He walks over to the fireplace (the only fireplace in the school with proper floo connection) and throws some floo powder in. "Number Six, Downsview Lane." Without thanking him – or even looking at him – I jump into the green flames. Sitting rooms, kitchens, office and shops wiz past me until I come to an abrupt halt in my brother's fire place.

"What the-" Fred yells as I tumble onto his carpet. I dust off the ash from my school robes before looking at him. "Roxanne? What the bloody hell are you doing here?"

"Did you know you were named after dad's twin?" He stares at me, shock and confusion distorting his face.

"Dad's_ twin_?" he whispers – no, apparently he didn't know.

"Yes, dad had a twin called Fred who died in the Battle of Hogwarts, they named you after him. Did you also know that dad got even more detentions than _you_ when he was at school? And that he and mum _eloped_? And that you were probably conceived on the day of your namesake's _funeral_? Or that mum was a chaser on the Gryffindor Quidditch Team when she was at school? And that dad set off fireworks during _OWLs_? Or that- or that…" I break down into tears and Fred just stands there, staring at me as if I have gone mad.

"Dad set off fireworks during _OWLs_…" He breathes at last. Trust that to be the thing my brother picks up. "Why did _I_ never think of that?"

"_Fred_!" I stamp my foot. "This is serious! Dad had a twin and no one ever thought to tell us about him!" Fred has the decency to look guilty.

"Maybe we should go and talk to mum and dad…?" He suggests.

"They haven't told us anything before, what makes you think they will now?" Besides, I do not want to see my parents at the moment. "No, I think we should go and talk to Nana Molly and Granddad Arthur." Fred agrees and holds out his arm, I grab onto it and we apparated to the lane leading to the Burrow. During the Second Wizarding War, my Grandparents put anti-apparation spells on their house and they have never bothered to remove them.

The lane is dark and Fred flicks his wand to light the tip, the little gate ahead of us opens as we approach it and we make our way up the path to the house. The Burrow is a bizarre looking building with multiple stores that hang out unsupported; I love the Burrow, it feels much more homely than my parents small flat above the shop.

"Nana Molly!" I bellow, pounding on the door. Fred looks uncomfortable beside me, probably guilty about waking Nana and Granddad in the middle on the night. I yell again and eventually the door creeks open.

"Roxie, Fred, what in Merlin's name are you doing here at this time?" Nana Molly is rubbing her surprised eyes, still trying the cord of her dressing gown.

"Sorry Nana, we had to come and talk to you… About Fred."

"Fred?" She raises an eyebrow at my brother.

"Yes…" Nana opens the door to let us in. Fred and I take a seat at the ancient kitchen table while Nana begins stirring cups of tea with her wand. No one says anything. "Why did no one tell us?"

"Tell you what, dear?"

"That dad had a twin," Nana freezes; so do the spoons in the tea. Slowly she turns around.

"What do you mean…?" she asks slowly.

"Why did no one tell us about him? Did they think we would never find out?" Nana stares at me, her mouth hanging slightly open.

"No one _told_ you…" I shake my head. For almost a minute no one moves, then Nana snaps; she runs out of her door and down the path (holding her dressing gown up around her knees – she runs pretty fast for an old woman), me and Fred run after her. The second she runs out the gate she vanishes.

"The shop!" I scream at Fred, grabbing his arm as we apparate for the second time that night. We arrive in Diagon Ally just in time to see Nana blasting open the door of my father's shop. "Nana!" I call after her; she ignores me so we follow her in. Dad's shop is small, selling out of date toys and tricks – apparently it was extremely successful just before the War but now it is somewhat run down (Fred is desperate to take it over and return it to its former glory with Ted Lupin as his partner).

"George Weasley!" Nana screams as she storms up the stairs. "How dare you! How _dare_ you!" Fred and I follow closely behind her as she bursts into my parent's small living room. "GEORGE!" The door of my parent's bedroom creeks open and my dad comes out, closely followed by my mum.

"Mum? What are you- Roxanne? Fred? What is going on?" my father demands, looking stern.

"You never _told_ them? How _dare_ you! That is a disgrace to your brother's name!" Nana yells in his face. Oh Merlin. Dad's face falls and my mum lets out a gasp and looks over at me and Fred. "What were you thinking? If it had been the other way around do you think _Fred_ would not have told his children about _you_?" Nana's face is bright red, contrasting hideously with dad's ashen pale one.

"What-" Dad looks horrified, he just stares at Nana.

"Molly," mum reaches out her hand to try and calm Nana down but to no success.

"Did you _honestly_ think that they would never find out?"

"Mum-"

"Molly, please-"

"Answer me George Weasley!"

"SHUT UP!" I scream over the fractured shouting of my parents and Nana. "Does someone want to explain what on _earth_ is going on?" I ask as everyone turns to stare at me. "_Dad_, why did you never tell us?" it is the only answer I want.

"I just thought… I just – I couldn't…" Dad's voice cracks and tears come streaming down his face – I have never seen my dad cry before.

"It hurt too much, Roxanne," mum replies for him.


	3. Quidditch

**III**

**Quidditch**

**_April 2022_**

"Earth to Roxanne… You have slept through your first two lessons; if you miss Defence Professor Creevey will go mental." Urgh, I attempt to bat away the annoying person hovering over my bed to no success. "I said get up!" She snaps and I feel the duvet being pulled off me. Peaking though my heavy eyelids, I can see Rose towering above me, she is a scary sight.

"I'm awake!" I growl as she pulls out her wand. Lara is giggling behind her – traitor.

"How come you were so late back from detention? I didn't even hear you come back in." I shrug and walk into the bathroom to avoid the question.

I hardly pay attention to Professor Creevey as I struggle to keep my eyes open (I'll just copy the notes from Rose later – the girl is freakishly organised and makes practically perfect notes). Defence passes in a blur, so does Transfiguration and History of Magic, before I know it is dinner time and I am squashed onto the Gryffindor bench between Lara and Max – not a good place to be when you have a headache from lack of sleep. I make my excuses and creep out of the Hall to find somewhere quiet.

The Library is the perfect place to get away, I know it sounds a bit nerdy but it's true. Wandering between the endless shelves of book, I run my hand across their dusty spines, it is really rather therapeutic. My peace is disturbed by a little cough. I turn slowly, already knowing who I will see. Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy.

Burning through my veins, my blood boils at the sight of him. I have to clench my jaw to stop myself lashing out, my fists curled by my side.

"What do you want?" I hiss. He cocks his head slightly to the side, making me want to punch him to pulp again. He frowns.

"Uh… Nothing." He mutters.

"Well why are you standing there?" I glare at him accusingly.

"Because I was looking for a book…?" He seems unsure of himself, like he's not really sure why he is actually there, he is still frowning – it is infuriating.

"Well go look somewhere else."

"Uh… I was here first."

"Does it look like I give a shit?" He tilts his head again before shrugging and walking off; the second he is out of sight I turn and slam my clenched fist into the bookcase, causing it to wobble dangerously.

I continue my random wanderings, letting the repetitive pacing calm me again. Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy: the only human being capable of making me see red, seriously, I am pretty laid back person, people come to me for calm advice, for reason and logic, for sensible solutions. I just don't get why Malfoy makes me so _mad_.

"Uh…" For Merlin's _sake_!

"What do you want _now_?" The words practically shoot out of my mouth like daggers. All the bastard can do is tilt his head _again_! I don't realise what I am doing until his hand is on my arm, refraining it from coming into contact with his face.

"Do you always have to try and hit me…?" His hand is still burning the skin on my forearm as he fends me off with his other hand. "At least last time you sort of had a reason… Although you didn't seem to mind at first."

"How- You- I-" I spit in fury. My vision is blurred; I can just feel every inch of my body propelling itself towards Malfoy, wanting to beat him black and blue.

"Seriously… I'm pretty sure you were kissing me back." He smirks and something snaps inside me. "In fact, I'm _sure_ you were kissing me back." I freeze, his grip on my arm loosens, I wrench my arm free and land my fist straight into his face… or where his face would have been if he hadn't ducked. I feel myself fall forward before something grabs me and all of a sudden my back is pressed against the bookshelf and his body is pressed up against me, his lips searching my face, his tongue is sweet as it enters my mouth – demanding but not forceful. _What the hell am I doing?_

I pull away and try to knee him in the crotch but he is too quick and has already darted to the end of the row of books.

"I'm going to kill you Malfoy!" I scream. "You are playing with fire you- you-"

"Oh but it's so worth it Roxanne – every kiss from you is worth it a thousand times over. Just face it: you cannot stay away," he taunts before vanishing around the corner as the librarian comes around the other side, screeching at me to be quiet.

I storm through the corridors, not paying attention to where I'm heading when I find myself in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. Great.

"What do you want? Come to make fun of me have you? Like those ugly little Second Years?" she whines, floating out of a cubicle. "It must be so much fun, making fun of a poor, pathetic, _dead_ girl!"

"Actually I came here to think, so I would appreciate some peace and quiet."

"Is that so? Well _I_ would like to be _alive_ but we can't all get what we want can we?" I roll my eyes and go over to the sink, a shiver crawls down my spine as my hand reaches to the tap. The silver has dulled over time but the twisted engravings still bear the resemblance of a serpent. Retracting my hand, I move across to another sink. The tap with the serpent has never worked.

The mirror is flecked with small black stains; it too had dulled with time. Staring into my reflection, I notice how my cheeks are still flushed with fury. The imprint of his lips on mine still burns. My reflection blurs and the next thing I feel is the sharp pain of a shard of glass cutting into the palm of my hand. Blinking once again, I see the shattered slithers of the mirror have fallen around me. Had I done that?

"Oh…" Myrtle sounds startled. "There was really no need to do that."

"Reparo," I hiss waving my wand in the general direction of the shattered glass. I dive out of the way as the glass comes shooting back up to fit itself back into the mirror frame. Sighing again, I wonder what is happening to me. I never used to be like this.

After composing myself once again, I make my way to the Gryffindor Common Room where the majority of my House was fooling around. I can make out Al and Ned Watts making paper birds attack a bunch of Second Years – I think Rose must have taught them that spell. James is chatting up Martha Finnigan while Anna Thomas and Louis look on with amusement. I swear James is _always_ hitting on someone. Hugo is entertaining a bunch of First Years with fire breathing sweets – the kid is obsessed with anything Dragon related. A large part of our Quidditch Team is huddled in a corner, no doubt discussing tactics for tomorrow's game. I join them.

"Alright beautiful?" Max asks as I sit down – Max is a Beater, along with Hugo. Now that I think about it, Max is the only full time member of the team who is not related to me. James, Lily and Albus make up our chasers – I know, team practice is so much fun. James is also our Captain. Rose plays Keeper and I'm Seeker. That's the main team but we have loads of subs, Katherine Wood is our substitute Keeper; Anna Thomas, Lara Coote and Callum Jenkins are our substitute Chasers and Penelope Jordan and Luke Cowls are our substitute Beaters… Unfortunately, we don't have a substitute Seeker so I always have to play. I don't normally mind, it's just I really don't feel like playing Quidditch at the moment.

James, Al and Hugo make their way over when they see Rose glaring at them. As they sit down, Rose pulls out a large sheet of paper with some game designs on it.

"Steady on Rosie, let's not forget who's captain here," James snorts.

"Do _not_ call me Rosie!" Rose hisses. James just laughs. Bad idea. Water comes shooting out of Rose's wand straight into James' face.

"What the-" he splutters. "There is something wrong with you, Rosie-Cakes!" Pulling out his own wand, James sends Rose dancing uncontrollably across the Common Room.

"You are so _dead_ POTTER!" she screeches, her face turning a hideous shade of red as she tries to control her dancing legs. James just laughs while dodging Rose's poorly aimed jinxes – not that she can really help it. To say James and Rose don't get on would be a lie – they do, they're actually very close, but when it comes to Quidditch… let's just say, Rose can sometimes get a bit too big for her boots.

By now, the rest of the Common Room has stopped what they were doing and is watching the duel between a furious Rose and a hysterical James. Most of them have their wands out, not to try and interfere – that would just be stupid – but to protect themselves. I hear a chuckle from behind me and turn to see Professor Longbottom standing in the portrait hole looking bemused. He lets them finish their duel (which incidentally ended with Rose sitting on James trying to remove his eyebrows), before telling them that if they must duel, could they please do so outside to prevent any damage to the furniture.

"Let the game _begin_!" Madame Bell shouts as she releases the Quaffle into the air. Lily gets there first and immediately throws it to Albus who shoots down the pitch at break neck speed – seriously, he is the fastest player Hogwarts has ever seen. The Ravenclaw Chasers cannot keep up but their Keeper, Matt Hughes, manages to save Al's shot. Matt swiftly throws the ball back into play and the Ravenclaw Chasers, Natasha Collins, Mandy Weston and Patricia (or Paddy if you don't want a bludger to the head) Downside, make a good go of it down towards the Gryffindor goal posts where Rose is furiously shouting at Max and Hugo to _'do something you effing wankers'_ (apologies for the language). Mandy almost drops the Quaffle as a bludger soars about a foot away from her head and James makes use of the distraction to snatch it off her and throw is back to Al who is already halfway down the pitch by the time Mandy realises what has happened.

Andy and Eddy Entwhistle (yes, they are twins) swing their bats menacingly as a bludger flies towards them. Andy… or it could be Eddy… sends it flying straight at Al who dodges it nicely before making the first goal of the game. The Gryffindor stalls go crazy.

That's when I spot Bella Corner. Despite being a Fourth Year and only having joined the team last year, she is extremely good. Almost as good as me… Almost, but not quite.

The Ravenclaws go wild as Paddy scores a goal, followed by the cheers of the Gryffindors as Lily answers will another goal. The Entwhistle twins are batting bludgers at the Potter siblings while Max and Hugo try and intervene. Several goals are scored within the first ten minutes and Ned Watts, the commentator, is trying hard to supress his favouritism.

Bella dives.

I follow.

Before I reach the ground, I see it, to my left, a flicker of gold. I turn. She follows. It's gone.

"And that's _another_ ten points to Gryffindor…" Ned shouts over the cheering crowd. "That makes the score 180 – 30 to Gryffindor… the only way Ravenclaw is going to win this is if Corner – who is looking might fine I might add – catches the snitch before our _beautiful_ Roxanne!" Nice save moron.

This time, I see it first. I hover, checking to see if Bella has seen it too. She hasn't. Slowly drifting towards it so as not to attract attention, I fix my eyes on Bella. In the blink of an eye I change focus to the glittering golden ball just as Bella spots it too; the stalls pass by in blur; a sea of green; a glimmer of white-blonde hair; a tilt of the head; a graze on the knee; a cheer from the Gryffindors; a cheer from the Ravenclaws.

"Whoa, whoa, what just happened?" Ned yells from the commentating box. "James just scored another goal making it 190 – 30 to Gryffindor but did he score on time because I believe Corner has the Snitch! Was that a win for Gryffindor or a disappointing draw?" Ned looks lost as he glances around him for someone to help him out. I have slowed right down, my heart beat racing… faster than it should be after such a sort chase. Someone is whispering in Ned's ear and he turns back to the audience. "AND IT'S A GRYFFINDOR WIN!" he bellows to the answering screams from the Gryffindor stalls. Phew.

I slow down completely and dismount, on the other side of the pitch Rose and James are having a shouting match while Lily and Hugo are helping Max off the pitch with what appears to be a sprained ankle.

"Congratulations," Bella says from behind me.

"You caught the snitch," I point out.

"Yeah… still not sure how, you were in front when we went passed the Slytherin stalls, it was like you got distracted."

"Uh… I caught my knee," I say weakly, knowing that was only part of the truth. I had been distracted. It had almost cost us the match. "But well done anyway." I smile, she smiles back in return before going to join her team mates and be congratulated more heartily on her catch.

Running up to my dorm before the crowds make the Common Room impossible to get through, I strip down and climb in the shower, letting the warm water relax me. I cannot believe I almost lost us the game. All because of the insufferable, arrogant, obnoxious, loathsome, little jerk!

Outside, I hear the door slam.

"Stupid. Arrogant. Toe-rag!" Rose shouts as she hits something against the door of the bathroom.

"Rose?" I ask, peeping my head around the door of the bathroom, a towel wrapped around me and another one around my head. "Are you okay?"

"Stupid. Stupid. Stupid."

"Rose! What's wrong?"

"Bloody James is what's wrong!" she screeches. "Thinking he knows best!" I roll my eyes and pull on clean robes. Despite James being our Captain, Rose seems to think it is her job to tell our team what to do and it annoys the crap out of James, which is fair enough. Leaving Rose to rant by herself, I make my way down to the Common Room.

"Alright, Roxie?" James pounces on me. I nod. "What happened there at the end? I didn't see but they say you were in the lead."

"Dunno, caught my knee I think," I lie.

"Right, well don't worry about it, we won anyway," he grins, ruffling my hair.

"Rose isn't too happy with you," he rolls his eyes and we both giggle – Rose is never happy with James when it comes to Quidditch. I shove all thoughts of white-blonde hair and tilting heads to the back of my mind and go down to enjoy the celebrations.

* * *

**Hello there, thanks for taking the time to read this and I hope you enjoy it. I would love to hear your thoughts in a lovely little review and if you are interested in this, or any of my stories, check ofmy blog, there is a link on my profile page. Thanks again, GirlOnTheSidelines.**


	4. Darkness

**IV**

**Darkness**

**_April 2022_**

"You're late, Miss Nott," Zabini hisses as the door to our Potions classroom opens. Without looking up, he indicates to our table. "Sit down, Miss Nott and try not to disrupt our lesson further." I turn to look at Nott who seems to think that sitting with us is amusing because she gives short, yet oddly graceful laugh before taking the seat between Al and Rose where Max normally sits and pulls out her book.

No one speaks as they gather their ingredients and begin making their potion. Rose looks furious and I remember that she hates Nott more than she hates the average Slytherin; Al on the other hand, looks blank, just staring and methodically adding his ingredients, hardly paying any attention to what he is doing; Nott's potion is the only one on our table that bears any resemblance to the example Zabini showed us earlier. I let my eyes drift across the classroom – I don't plan on taking Potions NEWTs so it doesn't matter too much if I fail – and they come to rest on a table on the other side of the room to us. It takes me a few moments to realise who is sitting at the table. He tilts his head slightly and shoots me a knowing smile. I glare at him. Malfoy.

A crash from behind me pulls my attention away from Malfoy. Davis appears to have knocked over his cauldron. Zabini gives him a detention before coming over to our table

"Well Miss Nott, I am no longer sure if your potion is so good after all," he smirks. "I mean in contrast to whatever they are supposed to be, anything would look impressive." I sigh and look at my potion – he is right, it is a disaster. "Weasley I suggest you stop with whatever atrocity you are attempting to make before you kill us all." I turn to look at Rose's potion and have to choke back a giggle: it is even worse than mine. Rose looks like she is about to spit fire. Al is not paying any attention. Nott looks smug: typical Slytherin.

After setting us an essay on the uses of Living Death, Zabini dismisses us. Nott is first out the door and manages it without running. I turn to follow Rose, who is fighting her way through the crowd, when a hand grabs my wrist and I am pulled back into alcove, hidden by a huge tapestry. Before I can protest, my lips are stopped with a kiss. I am too dazed to think straight and fine myself kissing back…

I can feel my breath getting shorter and my pulse quickening. His hands are on my body, gently kneading into my stomach, I entwine my fingers in his hair, dragging him closer.

"Roxanne," he breathes against my neck.

Then it snaps: Malfoy.

My body freezes. It takes a moment for him to realise. He stops. I untangle my fingers from his hair.

"Get off," I am so angry; my voice is barely a whisper.

"Why, Roxanne?" his mouth is pressed against my ear, I can feel his breath stinging the sensitive skin beneath my lobe. His body is still pressed against mine, his hands still on my waist.

"I said… Get off." Yanking my arms away from his embrace, I try to shove him away. I do not succeed. Instead, he now has my arms, pinned by the wrists, against the wall by my head. He is still leaning on me, his breathing tickling my face.

"And I asked why…" If he does not let me go, I will scream. "I know you want me, Roxanne. You don't have to hide it. It's obvious." His voice isn't threatening but I can sense a danger in his words, a danger in the way they make my stomach twist like a pool of vile snakes. "_I know why you didn't catch the Snitch._"

I gasp. He cannot know.

"I know how even the speed of one of the best brooms available was not enough to make you fly passed me without noticing. I know that every time you see a flash of blonde hair, you think of me. I know these things, Roxanne. I know." My heart is pounding so hard against my chest; I suspect he can hear it. Every particle of my body is screaming at me to get away, to curse him into the in-between, to smash his face against the cold, stone wall… He pauses and places a trail of kisses – each one burning a hole in my flesh – down my neck, from my jawline to my collar bone. "How do I know these things…? Because they are the same for me, Roxanne… Every time I turn a corner or enter a corridor, my eyes search you out; they gravitated towards you like a compass needle to the North. I don't know why, or even how… They just do. My whole body is trained on you – you move, I move. You cannot go on denying me, Roxanne, when I know you feel the same… And believe me: I know it's scary… I am scared as fuck by the way you make me feel… But sometimes, we just have to face our fears… And I want to face mine with you." His mouth is by my ear again and he whispers those last words directly into it, sending shivers coursing through my taunt body. His lips move across my face and find mine. They press down firmly before vanishing along with their owner and I am left, frozen and furious in the small alcove behind a portrait.

Once I recover enough to breathe properly, anger floods through my blood, my eyes widen in horror and glaze over with a red mist. My fist comes into contact with the cold, stone wall again… and again… and again… When I lack the energy to swing anymore, I press my flaming forehead to the wall and let the cool, dampness drain into my body, soothing me.

"What's up with you?" Max asks, nudging me with his foot. Frustration has me in its iron grip and I shoot him the famous Weasley glare before getting up and leaving the compartment. I cannot deal with him right now.

It was just so _humiliating_… My fist crashes down on the thin walls of the train corridor. Rose just _had_ to walk in… It's all Malfoy's fault: it's always Malfoy's fault. I had gone to find a compartment ahead of the others because I needed a little time to think, Malfoy's kisses from yesterday were still burning on my lips and in my mind and the feel of his body presses so repulsively against mine still lingered – the ghost of his embrace. Finding and empty compartment, I turned in, only to find it was not empty at all, simply filled with the overlarge ego that is Scorpius Malfoy. He had seemed just as shocked as I was to find ourselves alone once again - immediately standing up but neither of us spoke. Somehow, our compartment door had slid shut so no one disturbed us. I do not know how long we stood like that…

"Oi, look where you're going-" someone starts as I bash into them, absently looking for somewhere quiet to sit. They take one look at the expression on my face and mumble an apology before hurrying away again. At last, I find a compartment with a couple of nerdy Fourth Year Ravenclaw boys, sitting and reading – perfect. Neither of them look up as I slide open the compartment door and take a seat at the window.

Where was I…? Yeah, so we had just stood there, staring at each other for what must have been at least five minutes, probably more. Eventually he had spoken – "Hello Roxanne," was all he said. It was then that all my pent up frustration and anger had boiled over, I had begun explaining to him what a vile, abhorrent, repulsive, egotistic, arrogant toe-rag he was when he had closed the gap between us and had had the audacity to plant his slimy Slytherin lips on mine once again. Obviously, I had not taken kindly to this and had planted an equally passionate punch in his stomach, causing him to bend over double. My plan had back fired slightly when this caused him to grab onto my arm to steady himself. His fingers had seared my skin and he must have noticed me flinch at his touch because he then seemed to take great joy in not letting go. I had pulled my arm back in an attempt to rid myself of his grip but the action only served to drag him closer to me again, giving him the entirely incorrect impression that he could kiss me _again_.

If Rose had walked in then…

But she hadn't – thank Merlin – and I managed to pull away from Malfoy and inform him that he was a slimy shit-ball (okay, maybe not the most creative insult, but I was really mad) and it was just after that – before he could retort – that Rose had walked in. Malfoy had immediately let go of my arm and had nodded at Rose before vanishing down the corridor, no doubt to join his filthy Slytherin friends. Rose had then dragged me back to her compartment and I had had to listen to my friends' pointless drivel about boys asses before Max and Oli came in, making the compartment way too crowded for my liking, so I left.

The door to the compartment sides open and I look up. Malfoy is stood there but before I can draw breath to insult him, he holds up his hands, as if in surrender. In his right hand, there is a folded piece of parchment. He holds this out to me without a word. After a few moments hesitation, I take it, my fingers brushing gently against his as our eyes momentarily interlock.

He vanishes.

The station mist clears slightly as the remaining families disappear through the barrier. Looking around, I realise I am the only student left. Great. Dragging my trunk over to the fireplaces with the uncomfortable prospect of flooing home with a heavy trunk, I shove the piece of parchment Malfoy gave me into my pocket.

Suddenly, the entire station goes utterly black. Panicking, I think someone has switched of the lights before I remember that there are no lights on this platform – just a large, domed, glass roof… Meaning that either the world is ending and daylight has vanished… or that someone is being a twat.

"Fred…?" I call into the compete darkness, trying my best to sound irritated rather than reveal that I'm actually a little scared. "Stop being a dick."

"Dammit," I hear, followed by a crashing sound and some more colourful curses.

"For fuck's sake," I sigh.

"How'd you know it was me?" the blackness asks.

"Well, who else was it going to be?"

"Uh… a Death Eater?" he asks uncertainty.

"Whatever Fred, can you make it go away?"

Silence.

"Fred…?"

More silence.

"Fred…? You know how to make it go away… Don't you?"

"Well…" Great. My idiotic brother decided to submerge the entire Platform in darkness without thinking about how to reverse the effect.

"Have you tired _Lumos_?" I suggest. I hear him muttering under his breath but no light appears.

"Brilliant…" I can hear the grin in his voice.

"What exactly is _brilliant_, Fred? We're stuck on a dark Platform because of you."

"I'll explain later, where are you?"

"Over here… in the dark," I say sarcastically. He stumbles in the general direction of my voice before giving up. "Guess we're just going to have to wait until it goes away."

"Uh, Roxie…" he starts hesitantly. "That may take a while."

"How long is a while, Fred?" I ask as a sense of foreboding overcomes me.

"Uh… Days? Weeks maybe?"

"_What?_" Oh great. "Right… Fred, I want you to find the wall," he starts to protest but I cut him off. "If we both find the wall, then we can move towards each other and find the bloody exit!" he reluctantly agrees and a few moments later I hear him trip over something. "Fucking hell Fred – just put one foot in front of the other in the general direction of the wall!"

At long last, after dragging my trunk and almost tripping over a few times myself, I make it to the wall – I never thought I'd be quite so relieved to feel the cold stones beneath my fingertips. Moving alongside the wall, I find Fred and we both hesitantly follow the wall to where the barrier should be.

Bursting through into the bustle of King's Cross, I turn angrily to face the stupid hulk of flesh that is my brother. "What the _hell_ where you thinking?" I hiss. He has a look of delight and awe on his face that makes him look like a Third Year in Honeydukes. Shrugging, he grabs my arm and we apparate back to his flat.

"Explain." I demand after disposing of my trunk in his spare room.

"Explain what?" he asks timidly. I raise an eyebrow. "Okay, okay… I was just experimenting with Dad's _Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder_ and I changed the ratios and added some different ingredients to see what would happen… I was just testing it out… I thought it would be a nice way to greet you, rather than the soppy greetings everyone else gets."

"Yeah Fred… Real nice way the greet me: throw me into complete darkness."

"You weren't scared now, where you little Roxie?" he teases.

"I am _not_ little and no, I wasn't scared, just irritated."

"Sure, sure," he laughs as I wanders into the kitchen. I throw a cushion from his couch at the back of his head.

* * *

**Hello there lovely readers. Just to say thank you for taking the time to read this and I would appreciate any and all reviews. If you are interested in my stories check out my accompanying blog, the link can be found on my profile page. Thanks again, GirlOnTheSidelines.**


	5. Empty

**V**

**Empty**

**_April 2022_**

Standing in the middle of Diagon Alley and looking up at the faded sign that read "Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes", it suddenly dawns on me that dad never actually got over the death of his twin. I mean, I would be devastated if something happened to _my_ Fred but image having a twin… Guilt rushes through me as I think about how angry I had been at him for not telling me.

"Come on Rox, let's get this over with," Fred mutters grimly beside me. I think he took the news of dad's twin harder than I did, after all, he _is_ named after him. Pushing past me, he shoves open the door and weaves his way through the shelves towards the back of the shop and the stairs that lead to the small flat above. I follow him, navigating the familiar route with ease.

When we get upstairs, Fred knocks on the door.

"Come in," mum yells from the other side. Hesitantly, he opens the door. Mum is peeling carrots by hand in the kitchen while dad is sitting at the table with a mug of coffee, reading the Prophet. "Oh, Roxanne, Fred," mum says in surprise. Dad, who was in the process of taking a swig of tea, chokes slightly and puts his mug back down; mum rubs his back and beckons us in. I knew we should have warned them.

I take my usual seat across from dad while Fred remains standing, leaning against the wall, looking like he would rather be anywhere but here.

"Hello honey," mum smiles, kissing me lightly on the forehead, "how was school?"

"Fine," I answer half-heartedly. The silence falls heavily upon us. We wait. At last, mum opens her mouth to speak but dad beats her to it.

"His name was Fred Septimus Weasley. He was born on the 1st April 1978; he was born fifteen minutes after me… although people often assume he was born first. We were inseparable from birth until the Battle of Hogwarts. We did everything together, we were beaters on the Gryffindor team, we pulled pranks, we suffered detentions, we even fancied the same girls half the time… but he was always the one the girls chased after. We were practically the same person just in two different bodies… and with slightly different personalities. He was always the leader. He was always the initiator. I was like his shadow. It should have been me." The words are forced from his mouth and come hesitantly and broken. A tear is escaping from the corner of his eye. Mum has turned her back to us and has paused peeling the carrots. I cannot see her face but I know she is crying too. "We went back to fight… We went together… We got split up… He went with Percy… There was an explosion… Rookwood… Fred… He… He died." Dad takes a deep breath, attempting to control the flow of tears now streaming down his face. "He was only 20… so much ahead of him…" he continued as if the flood gates had been opened and he could no longer hold anything back. "Ideas for the shop… Expansion… Inventions… Jokes… All gone."

I have never seen my dad cry before, it is horrible to watch, his face has become blotched and pale, his eyes bloodshot and watery, sobs racking through his lean frame. He looks so vulnerable.

Mum is crying too, she is bent over the carrots and tears are falling rapidly from her face. She looks like she is breaking.

Fred is silent, staring at dad in horror. He looks disgusted.

I sit, my attention flicking to the different members of my family in turn. Dad. Mum. Fred. I am suddenly aware of a big gaping hole that has appeared between us. A hole I can only assume should be filled by Fred Septimus Weasley.

"Why did you do it?" Fred spoke at last. My Fred.

"Do what…?" dad asks, looking at his son with tears still dripping from his lashes.

"Why did you name me after him?" the question drops like a stone into the silence. No one speaks. I look from mum to dad and back. Mum looks away. Dad stares at Fred. My Fred. "Why did you do it?" his voice is becoming louder, more demanding. Still no one speaks. "_I am just his fucking replacement!_" he screams suddenly. "_Is that all I am? His pathetic replacement!_" Fred comes over and bangs his clenched fists on the table in front of dad. "I never lived up to him did I? I was never good enough. I was never him." His voice has switched to a vicious whisper, sending a shiver up my spine. Dad looks horrified. Mum looks appalled. "And I never will be him, so if he is what you want… I'm gone." Fred spits out the last word with a force that throws my dad back in his chair.

The door slams shut with a thud behind my brother, my Fred, and mum breaks down into tears again. I cannot be dealing with this. Scraping my chair back, I run from the kitchen, across the hall, to my bedroom.

At last, I let the tears escape my own eyes as I sink into the soft duvet covering my bed. They are tears for the uncle I never met; they are tears for my dad, who lost so much; they are tears for my mum, who must keep us together; they are tears for Fred, my Fred, who feels he means nothing anymore… And they are tears for me because I need to cry once in a while for no reason at all.

"Come on," Rose orders, tugging on my summer robes. Smiling goodbye to mum and Aunt Hermione who are in the kitchen, I follow Rose out the shop. "What colour are you thinking? I was thinking, maybe green… or blue, yeah blue… dark blue of course, that's much classier," she rambles on. Our mums gave us some money to go shopping for evening robes for this Ball thing the Ministry is holding at the end of the holidays. We are obliged to go.

"Red… I always wear red."

"That's so _boring_; surely there must be another colour you like, I bet you could pull of beige or purple... Hell, with your skin, you could pull of anything! You can have no idea how jealous that makes me!"

"I like red," I reply stubbornly. "And no, I could not pull off purple, it would clash with the red in my hair." She rolls her eyes and drags me into _Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions. _I begin to loose myself in the myriad of dress robes, colours, fabrics… "This would look amazing on you," I hold one up for Rose, it is a midnight blue colour. Her eyes widen and she grabs it from me.

"It's beautiful," she sighs, "but I'll never be able to pull it off."

"Sure you will," I grab a dark red one for myself, "let's go and have them fitted."

Feeling like a bit of a twat, I stand on one of the box-type-things as the dress fitter fiddles with the hem of my robes. I hate this sort of thing. Rose on the other hand, loves it and is twirling and swishing the folds of her robes endlessly, examining every inch of them, chatting away to her dress fitter.

"Where are you going?" I ask as Rose hastily grabs up her skirts.

"To the loo," she answers vaguely.

"Oh… okay," I mutter as she vanishes out of the fitting room. Her dress fitter looks a bit pissed off and starts talking to mine, they say they'll be back in a minute when Rose returns. I shrug. And then I realise I am standing on a box, wearing dress robes with pins in it, all by myself. Great.

A quiet cough sounds from behind me and I spin around. My stomach lurches in surprise. The shock is so great I cannot even form a scowl as I look into the cold, grey eyes of Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy.

I wait for the anger to come, the blinding red, the fury. He seems to be waiting too.

Why is it not coming? Why do I feel so calm? What is happening?

Realising with horror that I am still staring into his eyes, I try to force an insult from my lips. It will not come. My eyes stay locked with his.

My stomach refuses to settle. It twists and turns. I should be feeling sick. I do not. Instead, I feel odd. Just odd. His face is expressionless but his eyes… I can make out surprise… Confusion… _Fear_? What on earth could scare someone like Scorpius Malfoy? I though he was immune to fear. I thought he was immune to emotion…

I don't understand… Why am I not angry? Malfoy _always_ make me angry… So why not now? Why am I just… _confused_? I don't even know what I'm confused about…

There is a bustle behind him. He does not realise. Not at first. Eventually, he looks away, breaking our gaze and I am filled with… nothing? No joy, no triumph… Nothing. Like my chest is suddenly empty.

Rose appears behind him. She is smiling. I want her to stop. He mutters something… an apology? Then he vanishes. Still nothing. Rose looks at me and her expression changes to concern.

"Roxanne… Are you alright?" she asks, I blink, fighting off the overwhelming _nothingness_. I smile at her.

"Yes, I'm fine, that colour is lovely on you."

The hum of people is almost suffocating. I look around, trying to spot the girls. I cannot see them. Instead, I catch a glimpse of white-blonde hair. I wait for the anger… It still does not come.

With dread, I see him approach. Why can he not just leave me alone? Why must he always seek me out? Why must he torment me?

"Weasley," his voice is smooth, like liquid… oozing from his lips. His lips.

"Malfoy," I reply, not half as vehemently as I would have liked.

"Are you enjoying yourself?" my lips part in shock… _is he making small talk?_ "There is no need to be so shocked; I am not as arrogant as you like to think." There is a lilt in his voice that immediately puts me on edge. "Okay…" he says when I still do not reply. "How about a dance?"

I look down in amazement at his outstretched hand. My amazement swiftly turns to horror as I realise my own hand as come up from my side and now rests gently in his. I never said it could do that! We stand, stock still for a few moments as we both take in the situation. This cannot be happening. I am Roxanne Weasley: I hate Malfoy. Why the hell am I agreeing to dance with him?

A smile plays across his mouth as he looks down at our hands, he squeezes my fingers slightly and my stomach lurches again… or at least, I assume it was my stomach, it seemed a little high to be my stomach…

Without warning, he pulls me closer, placing my hand on his shoulder and slipping his arm around my waist. His other hand finds mine and he takes it. I am powerless to stop. His body is so close. I have been even closer but fury had blocked out all thoughts from my mind then. Now, with this eerie calmness, I can see every detail of his face.

I take in his jawline first, it is strong and defined; his lips come next, I cannot linger too long on them; his nose is straight and pointed, almost a little _too_ pointed, I note with satisfaction; then his eyes, they lack the coldness I have grown accustomed to, there is something in them, something I cannot quite read even though he seems to be allowing me to see it… I realise I am staring into his eyes and I quickly lower my gaze. His throat. I have a sudden, overwhelming urge to press my lips to the base of it, just above his collar bone.

_What?_

Shaking myself, I can feel the anger starting to return. The music picks up and he begins to spin me around… and around… and around. Every time I leave his arms, I want to run, far away from him, from the anger… Every time he pulls me close, I want to be closer, so close that I feel his breathe on my forehead… I do not understand.

The anger is not blinding… In fact, I'm not even sure if it _is_ anger. It is something, something fiery in the pit of my unsettled stomach.

The music goes on forever; surely the song must have changed… I cannot peel my eyes away from Malfoy's and there is a peculiar feeling in my chest, like I am being weighed down by something heavy, pressing against my ribs. Or maybe it is something trying to escape?

"Roxanne…?" he whispers into the hair by my ear as he pulls me close once again, breaking our gaze, and resting his chin against my forehead. The suffocating sensation in my chest increase, making it hard to breath.

"Yes…" my reply escapes with a sigh from my lips. His arms tighten around me and I feel like I might burst. In the back of my mind, someone chastises me for not correcting his use of my first name.

I wait for his reply. It does not come. Pulling away from him slightly, I look into his eyes. He seems uncertain, like there is something he is desperate to say but cannot form the words… or is too afraid to form them.

For some unknown reason, I am impatient for him to say whatever it is that is clearly on his mind.

"Nothing…" he says at last. The uncertainty vanishing from his eyes, it is replaced by a look of resignation. The apprehension fades from my body as he pulls me back into him, spinning me around so I can no longer study the expression on his face.

The song ends.

Malfoy continues to hold onto me for a fraction of a second longer than necessary. At length, he pulls away from me but does not let go entirely. He looks me straight in my eyes and I feel inexplicably exposed, like he is looking behind my defences.

For a moment, one, fleeting moment, I think he is going to kiss me again, in front of all these people.

For a moment, one, fleeting moment, I want him to.

My hand falls to my side and I watch his back, disappearing into the crowd. An overwhelming emptiness overcomes me. What _just_ happened? Why do I feel so… disappointed?

My fingertips brush against my lips. My unkissed lips. Scorpius.

* * *

**Hello everyone, thanks for reading and I would love to hear your thoughts. Check out my blog if you're interested in my stories, there is a link on my profile page. Thanks again, ****_GirlOnTheSidelines_**** x**


	6. Fire

**Chapter Six – Fire**

**_April 2022_**

Shoving my way through the pressing crowd, I hop onto the train. My mind is in a tumult. Fred is still not talking to mum and dad; yesterday at Lily's birthday get-together, Ted and Victoire announced they are getting married and then Al punched James in the face; the prospect of seeing Malfoy again today scares me for some reason and OWLs are looming in the near future. So all in all I have a lot to think about and these excruciatingly slow First Years are not helping.

Heaving my trunk up and knocking a frightened looking Ravenclaw out of my way, I begin the search for an empty compartment. As I am one of the few already on the train, this does not take long and I slam open the door and pull my trunk in. Casting a silencing charm, I collapse into a seat and let my mind wander. Without my permission, it wonders straight to Malfoy. I do not even have the energy to be angry with myself.

A gentle cough notifies me that someone has come into my compartment. My eyes lid flutter open and I am greeted with exactly the same face that had just been hovering in my mind. Scorpius Malfoy.

He looks slightly unsure of himself and I suddenly feel embarrassed.

"Um… hey," he mutters.

"Uh… hi?"

"LookIjustwantedtotalktoyouaboutwhathappenedtheoth ernight," he rushes out, not stopping for breath.

"Excuse me?"

He takes a deep breath before starting again.

"The other night… At the ministry… What happened?"

"Nothing happened," I say stubbornly. His eyes narrow.

"Yes it did… Don't tell me you didn't feel it too, I could see it in your eyes and the way you looked at me."

"Nothing happened," I repeat.

"Oh, I think you'll find it did Roxanne," he says, his uncertainty fleeing and being replaced by smugness. The anger returns. At last.

"No it bloody didn't Malfoy! Stop trying to fuck with my head!" I scream. "What is your problem? Have you got some kind of death wish? Do you really _want_ me to snap Malfoy? Because I can tell you now, it will not be pretty… or a least, _you_ won't be pretty when I'm done with you!" Jumping to my feet, I shout right in his face. To my extreme annoyance, he does not even flinch.

"Oh Roxanne," he smiles. "I was beginning to think you were losing your touch."

"Fuck off Malfoy! You are such a _bastard_!" I cannot seem to hold the insults back; they continue the stream from my furious lips until I run out of breath. He does not seem fazed. Before I can draw more breathe to continue my rant, my lips are suddenly stopped with kiss.

Finally.

_What?_

"Get the fuck off me you fucking asshole!" I screech, shoving him roughly in the chest.

"Roxanne, Roxanne, Roxanne," he mutters smugly. "You really are beautiful when you are cross."

"Listen to me, _Malfoy,_" my voice lowers to a whisper and I step threateningly closer. "To you, I am _Weasley_ and I swear to Merlin, if you _ever_ kiss me again-"

"You'll what? Rip of my clothes? I know you're dying to Roxanne and to be honest, I don't think I would mind too much… in fact, I think I would rather enjoy it." His eyes are glistening with anticipation.

"Never in your wildest dream Malfoy!" I yell in horror at the thought before my hand comes up from my side and swings back to slap him. Instead, my hand grabs him by the back of his head and force him down to that my lips can crush against his. I can feel him smile.

_What the hell am I doing?_

Pulling away, I slam open the door and storm out of the compartment, startling several students as I do so. What is happening to me? What did I just _do_? What is wrong with me?

"Hey, Roxie," someone calls, jumping on my back. Spinning around, I come face to face with Lara, Nina standing right beside her.

"What the fuck is your problem?" I yell. She starts backward in shock. "Can't you just leave me alone for a while? Do you not understand the meaning of personal space? Fucking hell, Lara, just piss off!"

"Sheesh, Rox, what's wrong?" Nina asks.

"None of your effing business!" the anger Malfoy awoke in me is exploding from every inch of me and I cannot seems to stop it. "Just leave me the fuck alone!"

"Roxanne, we haven't _seen_ you for most of the holidays!" Nina protests.

"Do I look like I give a crap? I just want to be alone right now!"

"Fucking hell, Rox, we were just saying hi," Lara says edgily.

"Well, _bye_," I reply before storming off down the corridor.

The castle halls are buzzing with students and I cannot stand it. Shoving past them, I storm off to my dorm, startling the House Elves who were depositing our trunks there. So far, not a great start to the term. I have already argued with Malfoy and I have managed to piss off my dorm mates because of it. Great.

Flopping down on my bed, I try to sort through the problems in my head but frustration overcomes me and I get up and start pacing. I cannot stay still. Knowing everyone else is in the Great Hall, I decide to take a walk around the castle.

As predicted, the corridors are empty, only the distant sound of voices floating towards me reminds me there are other living creatures within these walls. I do not recall every seeing the castle so quiet except at the dead of night.

So… the anger had returned. But had it really? Was it anger?

A cough behind me sends a shiver down my spine. I should have known.

"Malfoy," I hiss without turning around.

"Uh… Weasley," he sighs. Good to know he was paying attention earlier.

"What are you doing here?"

"I was going to my dorm… I wasn't in the mood for the crowded Hall."

"Aren't you hungry?"

Silence.

"Starving," he says at last. I giggle and turn to face him.

"Well I was just going to get some food from the kitchens…"

"You know where the kitchens are?"

"Of course I do… I know everything Malfoy."

"Of course, how could I forget," he smirks. We stand awkwardly in silence.

"Well…?" I ask at last, not really sure what I am doing. "Are you coming?"

"Coming where?"

"To the kitchen, you idiot!"

"Oh, right… yeah," he smirks again before following me down the passageway. When we get to the still-life fruit bowl, I grin at him over my shoulder and start tickling the pear. He raises an eye brow at me, sending another shiver down my spine. Pulling the painting away, I step through into the most delicious smelling room I have ever come across… other than Grandma's kitchen obviously. The House Elves are running frantically around, making sure the next course for the feast is ready on time. Slipping quietly into corner, dragging Scor-_Malfoy_ with me, I grab a slice of freshly cooked bread from one of the waiting baskets.

Blushing slightly as I release Malfoy's hand – which I didn't even realise I had been holding – I take a seat in front of the fireplace and warm my damp clothing. I hate rain. Actually, that's a lie, I love rain but only when I'm in the mood for it. Malfoy sits down next to me and I offer him a chunk of bread.

"Why do you hate me?" he asks out of the blue.

"Uh…" I should really have an answer to that; he is after all my arched enemy. "Because you're Malfoy," is all I can come up with.

"That's a crap reason," he laughs.

"Yeah…" I sigh, defeated. "I guess I just hate that you… I don't know… You just… I don't really know. I just _do_."

"I don't hate you." He looks at me with his endless grey eyes and my stomach flops… I need more food. "I know everyone thinks I do, but I don't…"

"Uh… thanks?"

"Mistress Weasley!" Dippy squeals when she spots me at last. "And you have brought a friend," she grins wildly and bows to Malfoy. I forget to correct her use of the word 'friend'. "We are very busy with the feast but Dippy will get lovely Mistress and her friend some food!" she squeals again and runs off, returning shorty with a tray full of delicious food. Malfoy and I nibble at it in silence for a while.

"I've never hated you." Okay, I got it the first time, you can stop now Malfoy, it is getting creepy. "In fact…" Seriously? "…you've fascinated me since the first time I saw you on the train back in First Year." I snort at the memory. "You were so eager to get on the train, you practically mowed me down with your trunk," he laughs. "I had bruises for days!"

"You were in my _way_!" I protest, choking back laughter.

"Well I'm sorry!" he snorts. "Can we call it a truce?"

"What?"

"Us… can we call a truce?"

"In what way?"

"No more arguments?" I raise an eyebrow, mimicking his earlier action. "… And I won't kiss you again," he sighs somewhat reluctantly.

A truce with Malfoy? Could I really do that…? And he wouldn't kiss me again? But give up the arguments and insults?

"But I like arguing with you…"

"And I like kissing you… so that would make us even. We would both have to give up something we like." There is only one flaw in his reasoning… but he cannot know that, I would rather him think his logic was perfect than know why it was flawed… I cannot believe I even _think _it is flawed.

"Fine, truce," I mutter darkly.

"Do you really hate me kissing you that badly that you would give up arguing and insulting me?" he asks, somewhat _too_ amused for my liking.

"Yes," I lie. _No_, I tell myself, _it is not a lie._ He shrugs and begins to push himself off the ground.

"Well thanks for showing me this-" he indicates to the bustle of the kitchen. "And I guess I will see you around…" he pauses, his head inches from mine. I can feel his breath on my face. If we hadn't just made that truce… I wonder what he would have done. "Bye," he whispers before pushing himself fully off the ground and making his way out of the kitchen.

I feel oddly disappointed. I enjoy arguing with him and we hadn't argued. We had just talked. That was it. Talked. Sighing, I push myself up and head towards my dorm… to a bunch of girls I pissed off earlier. Malfoy's face swims in front of my vision and I have an inexplicable urge to go and find him again… just to talk.

Shoving the thought to the back of my mind, I leave the warmth of the kitchen feeling… empty.

"Hey, Rose, pass a sweet," Madison mutters into the silence. Rose throws her one. For the last few hours, we have all been sat in here, saying nothing. This is normally the time when we catch up on the gossip of the holidays…

"So, did you have a good holiday? Anything interesting happen?" Rose asks the dorm in general. I sigh and continue staring at the ceiling. I never noticed that crack… right there. I should fix it. I cannot be bothered. I just continue to stare at it.

"I found out one of my best friends thinks it's okay to flirt with my ex-boyfriend," Lara replies.

"I wasn't flirting with him!" Madison squeals. Ha. That's funny. Madison and Luke Cowls? Please, don't make me laugh.

"Sure you weren't… you were just giggling and tilting you head and making soppy comments… Because _that's_ not flirting." Oh, Madison, really? You can do better than Cowls. He such a dick.

The room falls into silence again… even more so than it was before. Thank you Madison.

"Malfoy caught me crawling on the floor with Charlie," Rose splutters randomly. I turn my head to face her. What is her _problem_? Why? Why would she bring up Malfoy? Why would she _do _that to me? Why can't everyone just forget about him already? Why can't _I_ just forget about him?

The familiar burning sensation swoops into my chest and I have to get up. I cannot stay here. I need to move. Glaring at Rose one last time, I push myself up off the bed and vanish out the door.

Heading straight out of the common room, I quickly find myself in front of a bowl of fruit… or rather, a _painting_ of a bowl of fruit. Tickling the pear, I am greeted with the now silent kitchen… silent but not empty. There, in the corner by the fireplace, is a mop of white-blonde hair…

My insides do something funny. I frown.

"Mistress Weasley!" Dippy squeals loudly when she sees me, preventing me from making an unnoticed escape. "Would Mistress like some butterbeer?"

"Yes please," I sigh and head over to Malfoy who has turned his head towards me and is watching me approach with a vague look on his face. "Hello again," I mutter.

"Hey… wasn't expecting to see you again so soon," he gives a half-smirk.

"You forget that I have been coming to this kitchen far longer than you have."

"True… but that still doesn't explain why you're here now."

"I could say the same about you."

"I was thinking."

"So was I – or at least I was going to."

"What about?"

"About how half my dorm is pissed off with me. You?"

"You."

"Huh?"

"I was thinking about you."

"Oh."

"Why are they pissed off with you?"

"Because you made me mad and I took it out on them."

"Sorry."

"You should be."

"How was your holiday?"

"Alright I suppose," I shrug, hoping he doesn't bring up the Ministry Ball. "Yours?"

"Horrible… well most of the time," he gives me a sideways glance and I have an unsettling feeling that the 'other time' was at the Ministry.

"How come?"

"Because Aunt Daphne is a cow."

"Oh."

"You must have a lot of Aunts and Uncles."

"Yes."

"Are they nice?"

"Most of them… some of them are a bit boring. Like Uncle Percy and Aunt Audrey."

"They even _sound_ boring."

"Mmm… What is with this interrogation anyway?"

"Like I said earlier… you fascinate me and I want to know more about you."

"Oh. Well?"

"Well what?"

"What have you concluded about me?"

"That you are nothing like I thought."

"Oh… you're not an awful lot like I thought either."

The next few days involved me trying to lessen the awkwardness in the dorm, trying to get my head around the amount I have to learn for OWLs, trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with my family and trying not to look forward to the evenings. Unfortunately, I seem to be failing at most of those… especially the last one as I am now heading down to the kitchens even earlier than normal.

"Roxanne?"

"I think I told you to call me Weasley," I mutter as I tickle the pear. "What are you doing here anyway?" I ask again, I ask this question every night with the same response.

"I've come to see you of course," Malfoy smirks. We go to our usual spot by the fire and Dippy brings us some leftovers.

"You're friends with Vivian Nott aren't you?" I ask after a while.

"Yes."

"Do you know what is going on with her and James? Because one day they're kissing in front of the entire Great Hall at breakfast and the next they are avoiding each other completely."

"It was more than a few days and yes, I do know… or at least I know her side of it."

"Well…?" I ask when he doesn't continue.

"It's really not my place to say… Vivian just has some, uh, _issues_ she needs to sort through."

"Oh… okay." We fall back into silence; somehow, silences with Malfoy are not awkward like they are with most people. "What are you doing this tomorrow?"

"It's a Hogsmeade weekend right? I'm taking Vivian out; she needs a bit of a break I think."

"Oh." Somewhere deep inside me, something sinks. "Right."

"Why… planning to ask me on a date were you?" he teases.

"Not a chance in hell," is my response.

"Sure, sure," he chuckles.

"I mean it Malfoy."

"Of course you do," he grins. The blinding rage consumes me once more and without thinking, I lift my hand and strike out at his cheek. The sound is oddly satisfying. "What the hell was that for?" he hisses. "Oh Roxanne," he croons, his face transforming from anger to delight, "you are just _dying_ for me to kiss you again aren't you?"

"No. Chance. In. Hell."

"Oh but _Roxanne_… you cannot hide it, it is written all across your beautiful face."

"I told you to call me _Weasley_," I screech.

"And I will go on calling you Roxanne."

"You are such a bastard!" I scream, jumping to my feet. He follows and I find myself pinned against him and the stone wall of the kitchen. "Get off me!"

"Say please Roxanne, did no one teach you manners?" his face is barely inches from mine, I can feel his warm breath on my face and my stomach flips. "Roxanne… I want you to _beg_."

"I will never beg for _you_ Malfoy," I spit out his name.

"Very well…" his face comes even closer. My heart beats erratically. His lips barely brush mine. I can hardly breathe. He flicks out his tongue and runs it very lightly over my bottom lip. I let out an involuntary gasp. He smirks. "That's more like it," he whispers against my neck, placing the faintest kisses on my burning skin between each word. His left hand is place on the wall by my head. He is pinning me still with his muscular body. His right hand is running down my body. Gently stroking down my sides… down my leg. Another gasp escapes me as my vision begins to cloud over. "I'm going to _make _you beg Roxanne," he murmurs into my hair. His body is very gently moving against me, pressing me harder to the wall, then releasing me for a split second before closing in on me again. I cannot even form the words to tell him that I could _never_ beg for him.

"Scorp-" comes the choked gasp from my lips as he slips his hand under my robes and runs his fingers along my bear flesh. "_Please_," I whisper. Please stop.

"You see Roxanne… you are already starting to beg," I can hear the smirk in his voice. Oh Merlin. I cannot seem to control my body. My hands have found their way up to his hair and I have entwined my fingers deep into it. He continues to press against me... harder than before. A little faster. My face is tilted upwards as he runs his tongue against my neck. Occasionally stopping to either plant a small kiss or to suck a little bit of skin into his mouth. I know I am going to have little marks there tomorrow.

"Fuck," I gasp as he slips his hand down between me and the wall, hoisting me closer to him. "Urgh," I choke as he begins rubbing himself against me. "Scorp- _please…"_

"You asked for it Roxanne," his voice has become rough and horse with desire. It seems I am not the only one who is falling apart here. His lips come up from my neck to find mine; they are not gentle any more. Forcing my mouth open, he shoves his tongue in and bashes it against my own. I response just as desperately. Oh _fuck_. Oh _Merlin_. His roaming hand has slipped back under my robes and is moving down… down… down, between my legs. Oh fuck, fuck, _fuck_! His hands are tender… gentle… searching. There is a fire in my body I have never felt before as he continues to brush his finger against me.

"Scorp-" I gasp again before pulling him closer and lifting my legs up, around him. He slams me back against the wall. I can feel his desire pressing against me as he thrusts backwards and forwards. Oh shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. "Scorp… _please, please, please_."

"Oh Roxanne," he breaths against me, his skin is hot. So is mine. "_Rox-_" he chokes out in a similar fashion to how I had said his name earlier. "Oh Roxie… Rox_anne_." His breath is coming in short gasp as well now as our mouths merge into one again. Every particle of my body is on fire. "Rox- Rox-_Rox_," he grunts. As I run my fingertips down his spine. "I love you."

His words are no more than a whisper. My entire body freezes. He suddenly realises what he said and pulls away. I stare at him. The fire drains from me into the cold, stone wall at my back. I continue to stare at him. He didn't mean it. How could he? He hated me.

"Roxanne, I-"he begins. I just stand there, stock still. Frozen.

"Don't- you didn't mean it," I mutter hastily. I push him away from me, suddenly desperate to get away from him… as far away as the castle walls would allow me. Running blindly to the exit, I trip over the hem of my robe and stumble. He is still standing where I left him. He is staring at me now.

"Actually… I did." Oh Merlin. I can feel the tears coming, I don't know why I want to cry but I do… I desperately do. Practically falling out of the portrait hole, I gather my robes up in my arm and stumble blindly through the dark corridors, hardly caring where I am going. He does not follow me.

The following few days pass in a blur. I avoid the kitchens and anywhere else near the Slytherin common room as well as any place _he_ might be. Rose thinks I have gone insane, I refused to tell her who gave me the lovebites, even going so far as to deny they were there at all… of course, that didn't help seeing as they were clearly visible for her to see. Luckily, she found a spell that would hide them – I have never been more grateful in my life. Nina is still pissed off with me but Lara is more distracted by the ridiculous relationship that is blossoming between one of her best friends (or ex-best friend now) and her ex-boyfriend. Even I think Madison has gone too far this time.

Potions is the worse. Zabini insists that Nott stays on our table and the awkwardness is almost unbearable… not to mention the fact that I can feel _his_ eyes looking over at us constantly. I am so glad I am not taking Potions next year because I already know I am going to fail my OWL due to the fact that I can no longer pay _any_ attention to what Zabini is saying.

Saturday morning comes as a relief and I get up early to have a quiet breakfast without _him_ being in the same room. As I wander down the deserted corridors I can make out the faint sound of running footstep. They are getting closer. As I round the corner, someone comes colliding into me. He begins to mutter an apology before he sees who I am.

"Uh…" he trails off. My body has frozen again, I cannot get my legs to work, to take me away from him. "Bit of a random question," he starts – shit, what does he want now? "But have you seen Potter anywhere? As in Albus Potter?"

"Uh…" okay – that _was_ a random question. I think for a moment before replying. "Yeah… he left to common room just before me, you should probably have run into him… why?"

"Its… um… Vivian," he stutters, clearly in two minds about answering me.

"Vivian? What has Vivian got to do with Al?"

"Oh Merlin… this is going to sound crazy but… well, Vivian just left."

"Left? Where?"

"With a portkey… I don't know but I have a feeling…"

"You have a feeling _what?_" I ask impatiently. "Malfoy, Al is my _cousin_, I have a right to know."

"Ithingtheymightbegettingmarried," he mumbles.

"Excuse me?"

"Please don't think I'm crazy," he takes a deep breath. "But I think Vivian and Albus are getting married."

"_What?"_ I splutter.

"Look… let's take this somewhere I little more private," he grabs my arm and steers me towards the kitchens. Either that was my imagination or I just heard running feet. "Okay…" he begins again one we are safely out of reach from any prying ears. "Vivian had some arrangement with her father that required a portkey. She wouldn't tell me what it was and she wouldn't let me come with her. I was just having breakfast with her and she pulled out this portkey… it was a small golden ring."

"Right… and you just assumed that meant she is getting married to my cousin because…?"

"She's, uh… pregnant… with Albus' kid."

I snort. This guy has lost the plot. Completely and utterly lost it. Laughing, I look up at him, expecting him to join in and admit he's joking but my eyes met his grey ones… they are entirely serious.

"You're joking right?" He shakes his head and my laughter subsides. "But- but-" I can feel a panic coming on, my breath comes too quickly and my hands are shaking. "She- She can't… Al- Al wouldn't… How- I-"

"Shh, calm down," he reaches out to me. His hand strokes my hair softly.

"This can't be happening… they're only _sixteen_. You can't get married at _sixteen_!"

"Actually… Vivian is still only fifteen."

"_What_? She- she can't get married at that age."

"With her parents' consent she can."

"But- but- Al…"

"Al is a man… those laws only apply to women, we're not muggles."

"They're so _young_… their whole lives…"

"I know," he murmurs comfortingly. "I know…"

The shock is still coursing through my body. I just cannot believe it… Al wouldn't do something like that, he is far too sensible… Besides, he _hates_ Vivian Nott, I have witnessed that enough during the last few Potions lessons. Or have I? I mean he has never actually _said_ he hated her… it was just assumed because he never spoke to her. But he hated Scorpius and he still spoke to him. Maybe it wasn't hate… I shiver slightly and it is only then that I realise I am leaning against Malfoy and he has his arms wrapped around me… his face buried somewhat in my hair.


	7. Crossroads

**Chapter Seven – Crossroad**

**_May 2022_**

James looks somewhat listless as he goes over the tactics for the match, Katherine Wood has to correct him a couple of times which is made worse by the fact she is only our _reserve_ Keeper as Rose is in detention today. Albus refuses to meet James' eye… not that James ever looks his way. It has been two days since Vivian and Albus disappeared, Vivian has been confined to the hospital wing since she got back and I know for a fact that Albus spends as much time as possible with her… I will never understand what is going through that boy's mind. He won't talk about it though, not to anyone. He just sits by her bed, doing homework or reading or just sitting.

James pauses and I suddenly wonder if he knows… I mean, Scorpius managed to extract a confirmation from Albus that they _were_ actually married… but I wonder if James knows too. How could he though? As far as I was aware, only Scorpius, me, Albus and Vivian were aware and I'm pretty sure none of us have told him seeing as Scorpius has never spoken to James, Albus hasn't said anything to anyone, Vivian is still in the hospital wing, not speaking to anyone and well… I haven't.

Max winks at me from across the changing room as Hugo stares at James with a blank expression on his face. Katherine is looking irritated at having to correct James all the time and Lily is looking from Albus to James and back, a worried frown on her delicate face.

"Right… are we all ready?" James asks blandly. At this rate, we are going to lose _so_ badly. Both James and Albus need to play game for the next few hours, I can tell Katherine is thinking the same thing as we all grab our brooms and make our way to the doors.

"And here is the Gryffindor team!" Penelope Jordan bellows from the commentator box. "Our very own Golden Trio as Chasers – James, Albus and Lily Potter! Followed by Hugo Weasley and Max Jordan – the ugly git – as Beaters!" Penelope is Max's brother in case you hadn't figured. "Now, they've got a reserve Keeper as Rosie-Posy has landed herself in detention today… Katherine Wood! If she is anything like her dad, who played for Puddlemere, the Gryffindors have nothing o worry about. Lastly, the man- or woman of the match… Roxanne Weasley as Seeker!" the Gryffindor stalls burst into cheers as we take our positions on the pitch.

Across the way, the Slytherin doors have opened and their green robes team comes strutting onto the pitch.

"And now for the rivalling team… Slytherin!" an equally loud cheer rises from the green stalls although I think I can detect the use of a few Sonorous charms amongst the yelling. "Marcus Flint, Joe White and Miriam Smith make up the Chasers… Smith is the only woman on this team since George Davis replaced Vivian Nott as Beater for unknown reasons (personally I always thought she was the better Beater but there you go…) the other Beater being Darrel Davenport. Their Keeper, Josh Laybrooke, is looking might fine for a Slytherin-"

"He's too old for you!" someone yells from the crowd causing a wave of laughter to pass through them."

"- and their Seeker," she continues as if no one had spoken. "Is Hogwarts very own Scorpius Malfoy! I must say, he's been quite quiet on the lady-front, maybe the playboy has found himself a girl!" she teases and for some reason, I catch Scorpius' eye and find myself bushing and swiftly turning my gaze to the muddy grass at my feet. "Well good luck, I think I know where _my _loyalties lie," Penelope yells one last time to a roar from the Gryffindor stalls.

"Right… I want a nice, clean game," Madame Bell gives a pointed look to the Slytherins. "Now, mount your brooms," we all swing over legs over, "on my whistle…" her whistle sounds and we all leap into the air, the cool wind soothing my nerves. I look around to see Lily with the Quaffle (she really is the best Chaser, even when Albus and James are at their best).

"And Potter has the Quaffle – _Lily_ Potter that is!" Penelope yells. "She passes it to Albus… who drops it! What the-" the Gryffindors let out a collective sigh. "Smith dives to catch it, passes to White who aims and… that was one lucky save from Wood there, well done!" Katherine throws the Quaffle back into play and I watch as Lily catches it and zooms across the pitch.

"And that's a goal for Gryffindor!" Penelope screams over the cheers. "Come on boys, you can't let little Lily do _all_ the work!" Laybrooke passes it to Flint before winking at Penelope in the stands, causing her to fake a swoon and almost miss White throwing the Quaffle at Katherine. "Damn and Slytherin are right back in with a goal of their own!"

"Albus you half-breed!" Lily screams at her brother as he fails to catch the Quaffle once again. "Get your sodding act together before I get Hugo to send a Bludger at your head!" Twisting into a dive, she tactfully snatches the Quaffle back as White throws it to Flint. She throws it at James – who isn't even _looking_ – and it hits the back of his head. The Gryffindors let out an 'oooh' as Smith dives in to catch the falling Quaffle and send it soring into the Gryffindor goal posts while Katherine is too busy shouting at James. I suddenly wish for Rose – at least she could shout _and_ save at the same time.

"Come _on_ Potters! Lily can't do _everything_! Pull yourselves together – I have ten galleons hanging on this match!" I watch in horror as Davenport smashes a Bludger in James' direction, it misses him by a hairs width but manages to grab his attention. His entire face becomes determined as he chases after Smith with the Quaffle. "Looks like James has got a grip of himself as he snatched the Quaffle back and throws it to a waiting Lily… _this_ is more like the Potters I know!" Lily sends the Quaffle soaring through the hoop. "Yes! Ten more points to Gryffindor!"

A flicker of gold catches my searching eye. There, just by the Slytherin goal posts, is the Snitch. I lazily drift towards it, spotting Malfoy on the other side of the pitch. When I am close enough, I shoot down ward in a dive.

"Looks like Weasley's seen the Snitch… Look at that girl go! I can now see why my brother fancies her so bad!" Dammit, shut up Penelope, now I've lost it. I can feel a change in the wind at my feet and glancing over my shoulder, I spot Malfoy grinning at me. Even though the Snitch has vanished, I press myself even flatter against my broom and urge it forwards… He has managed to creep up so he is almost level with me.

The wind twists my hair loose from its ponytail and it whips around my face. Malfoy is so close, I can feel his robes brushing against my back as he flies over me. Twisting around, I launch myself higher, sending him a challenging smile as I do so. He pushes forward and I follow, overtaking him…

"Looks like Malfoy has caught up with her, they seem to be about even… Come on!" Penelope screeches, unaware that we're not actually chasing the Snitch. There is a fire in the pit of my stomach as I fly, the wind becoming one with my broom and I, I have always loved flying… up here, you feel so _free_, so completely detached to your worries below. "And Smith scores for Slytherin once again! Come on Weasley, catch that Snitch!" Malfoy is beside me, grinning – not his usual smirk but a wide, open grin full of the contentment I feel. "And Lily's come right back with another goal for Gryffindor! Albus is still being a bit useless but it's good to see James back on form. The score is now thirty – twenty to Slytherin… Oh no, make that thirty all as James sends that Quaffle gliding through the hoop… sorry Joshy," Penelope sticks her tongue out at the Slytherin Keeper.

Scorpius is level with me now; his face in line with mine as we soar passed the Hufflepuff stands. The cheering becomes dimmer as we fly higher and higher, I can feel the wisps of a cloud dampen my cheek. Scorpius keeps urging his broom forward and I do the same. A cheer rises up to us as someone scores… I cannot make out who and I hardly care.

The cold air rushes past us and the fire in my stomach explodes, warming it from the inside out as Scorpius and I continue to fly circles around each other. He suddenly drops into a dive and I follow a fraction of a second behind him. We spin downwards, out of the clouds, past the stalls… I skim the ground with my fingertips as I pull up from the dive…

"Well that was an impressive Wronski Feint if I've very seen one… Malfoy and Weasley are really on _fire_ today. I've never seen them fly so in sync either… If only Albus could fly like their Seeker then-" she is cut off by a deafening cheer. "And Lily has scored _again_! That girl deserves a medal!"

Scorpius drifts away a little and I swerve to catch him again, he grins over his shoulder. Urging my broom forward, I come up level with him. He nods ahead and I follow his gaze to a tiny, barely visible golden glint: the Snitch. How gallant of him to point it out to me.

Simultaneously, we push our brooms forward.

"And that's _another_ ten points to Gryffindor… looks like Albus has _finally_ got his head out of the clouds – at last! That makes the score sixty – thirty to Gryffindor… I am liking the look of this!" A huge sigh resounds from the stall on my left as Malfoy and I continue to circle each other… faster and faster… "Darn it! Looks like it's sixty – forty to Gryffindor thanks to that charming Smith girl! Come on Weasley! Catch the bloody Snitch already! This isn't a dancing contest! No one cares how well you and Malfoy can fly… just catch the bloody Snitch!"

As Penelope's words echo around the stadium, I push my broom to go faster. Malfoy does the same. I flash him one final grin of victory before shooting forward and enclosing my fingers around the small golden orb.

"Has she-? _Yes!_ Roxanne Weasley has caught the Snitch – at last – and that's a Gryffindor win with two-hundred and ten point to Gryffindor and forty to Slytherin… if you need a shoulder to cry on Laybrooke, I'm right here!" Penelope finishes with a flourish as the teams return to the ground. Hugo and Max come charging at me, Max lifting me clean of the ground and spinning me around, planting a sloppy kiss on my cheek. I shove him away as Lily and Katherine join the hug. Albus and James have already vanished.

As more and more Gryffindors poor on to the pitch, I manage to slip away. As much as I love them all, I need space to think… to think about what the hell just happened on the pitch. In a daze, I escape across the grounds toward the Black Lake. The fire in my stomach is still burning strongly and my chest feels like it might burst. The tension between Malfoy and I on that pitch had been almost tangible… but it wasn't the sort of tension I was used to. Normally, the tension between Malfoy and I is one of rivalry… sometimes even a physical tension. This was different. It had little to do with the game.

Standing on the shore line, I am hit with a terrifying realisation: I don't hate Malfoy. I suddenly wonder if I ever have. Was I just so afraid of what I felt that I labelled it 'hate'? Am I actually in-

"Roxanne…?" a voice interrupts my thoughts. It is the husky voice that I was longing to hear… the voice am I terrified to listen to. I turn around.

"Scorpius…" his name slips from my lips in a near whisper. We stand, frozen for what seems like an eternity. At last – I am not sure who moves first or if we move together – I am in his arms. He brings his lips down to mine. They are soft and gentle. Questioning rather than demanding. My heart bursts from my chest and I respond to his kiss, kissing him back with such force, it terrifies me. All my pent up anger and frustration overflows, turning into tiny tear drop that roll down my face as I kiss him. Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy: the only person capable of making me see red… the only person in whose arms I feel complete.


	8. Falling

**Chapter Eight – Falling**

**_May_**_**2022**_

The fire light flicker across Scorpius' face as we sit before the fire in the kitchens. His arms are wrapped around me and my head is resting in the hollow of his shoulder, just above his heart as he plays with a strand of my hair. The last few days have been close to perfection. Scorpius and I have spent as much time as possible with each other and I was shocked to realise that even before the game, we had spent so much time together it barely disrupted my daily routine to be with him. No one knows about us, we decided to keep it a secret to make sure we could actually make this work before announcing it to the world. I will of course have to explain to everyone seeing as they all still think I hate him.

"I'm just worried about her, she's been in the hospital wing for ages, I'm just not sure what to do, she won't talk to anyone and she looks like hell," Scorpius sighs into my hair.

"I'm sure she'll be okay, I just don't get why she is like this, I mean she did _know_ right?"

"I'm not sure… I wouldn't actually put it passed her father to have put her under the Imperius Curse." I cannot imagine living with a family who would be capable of doing that to me; I suppose I have taken my parents for granted, especially lately. "Anyway, I've got to go to Transfiguration, I'll see you later," he bends down and kisses me gently on the lips. I cannot resist pulling him in and kissing him properly, letting his tongue slide into my mouth and entwining my fingers in his silky hair. He rolls me over so I am lying on the floor and presses himself against me. By now the House Elves are used to us making out in their kitchen and just ignore us. The heat he awakens in my body is almost unbearable and I pull him in closer, moving my lips away from his to give him access to my neck. His lips brush hesitantly over my skin before coming down and sucking at the hollow of my neck above my collar bone. I let out a groan of pleasure.

"Scorp…" dragging his head back up to meet my lips again, I wrap my legs around his waist. He continues to kiss me deeply, burying one hand in my hair while the other roams across my body. Oh Merlin.

"I really have to go…" he mutters at last, pulling away and leaving me feeling extremely lonely. "Don't look at me like that," he growls, bending down to plant one last brief kiss on my forehead before straightening his tie and leaving through the portrait hole.

Rolling onto my stomach, I gaze into the fire and decide what I am going to do for the next hour without Scorpius. My mind wonders to Vivian in the hospital wing and I suddenly decide I am going to try and do something about her. I mean, she cannot exactly stay there forever can she?

I jump to my feet and wave goodbye to Dippy before hurrying out into the corridor and heading towards the hospital wing. My anger building as I go, to be honest, I think she is being a little bit pathetic, I mean if she _knew_ then she shouldn't be feeling so sorry for herself and if she _didn't_ then she should be doing everything in her power to bring her father to justice. I slam open the door of the hospital wing and make my way over to her.

"Look here, No- Pot- _Vivian!_" I struggle to find the right name for her because I guess she _is_ legally a Potter now. "Scorp is worried sick about you, so is Al and James (although he won't admit it)-" I can see her flinch at James' name and wonder if he had anything to do with her being here. "-and I think it is really rather selfish of you to stay up here pretending to be ill when there is nothing wrong with you… you are clearly just feeling extremely sorry for yourself and I don't think you have a right to make them suffer any longer!" the words escape my mouth in a shout and she looks at me with a horrified expression on her face as I drag the sheets from her bed. "Get up," I order. She looks slightly terrified.

"How dare you-" she stutters and her voice sounds like it hasn't been used in a while.

"How dare I? Oh, missy, you have no idea what I dare…" I say threateningly, hoping to convey some of my irritation even if I am feeling a little sorry for her now – she just looks so _tired_. "Now, I said: get up." I am surprised to find her obeying my order and swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. "All the way…"

Oops, I think I might have gone a little far. A determined look creeps onto her face, rearranging her features to make her look a little terrifying.

"Do _not_ tell me what to do Weasley!" her voice has regained its usual silky quality as she narrows her eyes at me. "I hope you are aware you are talking to a pregnant woman here!" Shit, I had forgotten about that.

"Yes," I blag, "I am and I am appalled at your behaviour! Very soon you are going to become a mother and as such, you need to start acting like one! And that does _not_ mean mopping around all day feeling sorry for yourself! You have to face life, Vivian; you cannot run from your problems however big they are!"

"You do not know anything about me or my problems! So don't you tell me what to do!" she yells at me. She looks furious now.

"I think you'll find I know an awful lot about your problems, they are all Scorpius talks about these days! And quite frankly, I am sick of them. Do us all a favour and get over yourself! You cannot run from your life Vivian!" I scream before storming out of the Hospital Wing and slamming the door behind me, cursing myself for bringing Scorpius up.

In all honesty, I am surprised I got a reaction out of her at all though, I mean others have tried to no success… maybe she just need to be shouted at. Dammit, _why_ did I think that was a good idea? She's Scorpius' best friend and I have just turned her against me. Great planning Roxanne.

~x~

"Hey Rose," I smile, walking through the common room. Things are still a bit awkward between me and my dorm mates after my outburst on the train but since the game I have been trying to fix that – they are my best friends after all.

"Hey," she smiles back before returning to her book. Oh well. I walk quickly through the corridors to the kitchen to meet Scorpius. Dippy greets me and after a few minutes, Scorpius comes through the portrait hole.

"Hello," he says softly, kissing me sweetly before sitting down next to me. "Vivian came out to the hospital wing today…" he looks straight into the fire as he talks.

"Oh really…?"

"Yeah." Okay, I cannot lie to him.

"I have a confession…"

"Oh?"

"That may have something to do with me… I kind of, uh, shouted at her earlier," I say awkwardly, hoping he won't be mad. Instead of being mad, he starts laughing. "What? I'm serious!"

"I know… that's why I'm crazy about you Rox – you always fine the most creative ways of dealing with a problem and somehow you make them work," he chuckles. I grin at him. "But I mean it though…" his face becomes serious and his voice a little huskier than normal. "I am crazy about you… In fact, I think I might even be falling for you…" Oh Merlin, please make my heart slow down.

"I-I- I think I might be falling for you too…" I spit out at last. He smiles at me before bending down to rest his forehead against mine. The beating of my heart is so loud I'd be surprised if he _couldn't_ hear it

"You're amazing," he breathes, kissing my so lightly I think my entire world just paused to savour the kiss. Sweet Merlin what is this boy doing to me? I spend the rest of the day curled up in front of the fire with him talking about everything and nothing.

~x~

"Roxanne, wait up," Rose calls as she tumbles from the portrait hole. "Hey," she smiles.

"Hi, you aright?"

"Mmm… an hour with Zabini droning on? I just can't wait," she rolls her eyes as we head down to the dungeons. "And Al is pissing me off; I don't know why he's so grumpy all the time and what is with him spending all that time in the hospital wing?" Rose rants, her hair bushing up around her face. I notice she has heavy bags under her eyes and she looks paler than usual, I wonder what's bothering her.

The dungeons are colder than the rest of the castle and a chill crawls down my back as we approach the Potions classroom. This is immediately dispelled when I see Scorpius. He is standing next to Vivian Not (or Potter) and is listening to whatever she is saying. She catches me looking and I give her a half smile – I haven't seen her since I yelled at her in the hospital wing and have resolved to make amends for my outburst. To my surprise, she smiles back before turning away. Scorpius glances over to see who she was smiling at and catches my eye. He lets a small smile slide onto his lips before casually brushing his fingers against his neck. I realise with a jolt that the love bite he gave me the other day is probably clearly visible. Tugging on my collar, I try to readjust my shirt to hide it. He smirks. I narrow my eyes at him.

Vivian jabs Scorpius in the stomach and he looks down, slightly startled. She makes a slight gesture at me… Oh no, make that behind me. Phew. I turn to see Albus making his way towards us. Scorpius immediately shields Vivian from view and engages her in conversation. They needn't have bothered, Al just leans against the wall without saying a word to anyone, he doesn't even look at her. Staring at my cousin, I am startled by the contrast in his appearance; I guess I have been so wrapped up in Scorpius that I haven't noticed my cousin falling apart. The bags under his eyes are worse than Rose's and his face looks hollow as if he isn't eating properly. His eyes look dead.

Before I can say anything to him, Zabini comes around the corner and lets us into the class room. I take a seat at our table with Al, Rose and Max wile Scorpius and Vivian take a seat at the back of the classroom. Albus spends the entire lesson staring into space, Max is jotting things down frantically, panicking about our upcoming OWLs, Rose just glares at Vivian – she must blame her for the state Al is in – while I occasionally glance back at Scorpius.

As Rose predicted, Zabini just drones on for the entire lesson. As the clock gets closer to our release, I catch Scorpius leaning in to talk to Vivian, I cannot hear what he is saying but I have a strong feeling it has something to do with. Vivian whispers a little louder than Scorpius and I catch the _words 'why didn't you tell me?' _Apparently, so did Zabini.

"Mr Malfoy, do you have something to share with the whole class?" Zabini asks. I can feel Vivian's gaze on my back.

"No, sir," Scorpius says, sending a shiver down my spine. I have got it bad.

"Then I suggest you keep your mouth shut." Wow, Zabini really is in a foul mood. As the lesson comes to a close, my nerves pick up and I realise that I am desperate for Vivian's approval – I know it sounds weird but she is Scorpius' best friend and if she approves then things will be easier, if she doesn't…

As we push Rose and I push our way through the crowd of student in the corridor, I hear someone call my name. Rose turns around, sees who it is and storms off. Turning myself, I see Scorpius and Vivian; I fix my eyes on the latter who shrugs at me before tuning to Scorpius. I should really not look at him in public because I have no doubt the expression on my face would give us away instantly.

"Roxie," he breathes and my stomach curls. "I just wanted to introduce you to Vivian…" Crap, I had forgotten she was there – that is what this boy does to me. Turning back to her, I notice she has an eyebrow raised.

"You mean Vivian wanted you to introduce her to Roxanne?" she snorts and my nerves twist in my stomach. I feel like I am being measured up.

"Hello Vivian," I say uncertainly. "It is a pleasure to me you," I smile slightly, hoping to put myself in her good books.

"You too…" we stand there awkwardly for a minute or two. "Right, well I had better get back to the common room, nice to meet you," she says before gliding back down the corridor making me feel like a clumsy fool. By now, everyone has left and Scorpius pulls me into his arms, kissing me soundly. I hope that means Vivian didn't outright disapprove of me.

"Oh Rox," he sighs, resting his chin on my head. "I had better go and check on her…" he mutters at last and I just nod, kissing him again before letting him go after Vivian. I run up to my dorm to grab a jumper as the castle has become chilly again before heading back down to wait for Scoprius in the kitchen.

As I pull the portrait open, I hear voices floating out and recognise Scorpius'. I catch Dippy's attention and ask her to ask the people inside if it's okay if I come in. She returns quickly saying that it is fine before beckoning me in and asking me if I would like a butterbeer which I politely decline.

"Hi, I'm not interrupting anything am I?" I ask shyly. I can feel Vivian taking in my appearance and suddenly feel very self-conscious. Not knowing what else to do, I look at her. She is quiet small but well built, her black hair falls in soft ringlets around her pale face and her blue eyes shine brightly from between thick black lashes. She is beautiful but not in an in-your-face way, it is more subtle which in a way makes her more beautiful.

"Not at all," she says at last with a small smile. Relieved, I take a seat beside Scorpius, noticing they sit on chairs rather than on the floor like we normally do. He reaches out a hand and takes mine, entwining our fingers together. "Oh Scorp- I forgot to tell you, I kind of let slip to Vi about my, um, _situation_…" she trails off, clearly regretting saying anything in my presence. Scorpius looks guilty and I realise she probably doesn't know that I know about her and Albus. I look into the fire. "_You told her?_" Oh Merlin, she doesn't sound impressed.

"You told Violet Briggs!" he protests, "who, in case you didn't know, is the biggest gossip in the school!" He has a point. I'm a Gryffindor and even _I_ know Violet Briggs is a gossip.

"I didn't _mean_ to!"

"Neither did I – it just sort of slipped out." Scorpius looks uncomfortable so I decide to come to his rescue.

"I have not told anyone, if that's what you are worried about," I say, turning to look at Vivian.

"It's not your fault," she sighs. "Everyone is gonna know soon enough anyway." She slumps down in her seat and I realise how daunting a prospect she is facing – the whole world knowing you are pregnant. Scorpius seems to relax again and I do with him.

"Excuse me sir," Dippy coughs, "Professor Creevey is wanting to see you sir," she smiles shyly at Scorpius. Scoprius looks reluctant to leave but eventually gets up and kisses me softly on the cheek telling me to meet him here later. I nod and he disappears out of the portrait hole after ruffling Vivian's hair.

To break the silence that falls after Scorpius leaves, I ask the only question that comes to mind – how far along in her pregnancy is she. She seems shocked by my bluntness and I immediately regret saying anything.

"Six and a half weeks," she says eventually, a look of amusement on her face.

"Have you been to see Pomfrey? Or another nurse?" I ask – now that we are on the topic I might as well, at least it is better than silence.

"Yeah, when, um, Zabini brought me in… He told her about it." I assume she is talking about after she married Albus – I still cannot believe they are actually married, it just doesn't seem right, especially after what happened with James. I randomly suggest we go and see Pomfrey now and she agrees.

Pomfrey seems obliging and starts chatting to me about the amount of times my brother had been in the hospital wing when he was at school. Vivian looks a bit uncomfortable but I'm not really sure what else to say to her. When Pomfrey is done, I say goodbye and leave before I can suggest anything else stupid.

I head straight for the kitchens where Dippy brings me todays Daily Prophet and I resume the hobby me and Rose normally do together and turn to the weddings page.

"Hey Rox," a husky voice whispers in my ear.

"Uh Scorp…" I mutter, a little too distracted to respond to his kisses. "Do you know about this?" I ask, holding the Daily Prophet up for his inspection. There, in plain view for anyone who read the weddings section was: _'Vivian Iris Nott, daughter of Theodore and Iris Nott, weds Albus Severus Potter, son of Harry and Ginny Potter, 11__th__ May 2022'_.

"_Fuck!"_ Scorpius curses, grabbing the Prophet and running from the kitchen without another word. After finishing my drink, I take a long detour back to the common room only to find Rose blocking the portrait hole.

"Uh… Rose, you're blocking the doorway," I mutter. She spins around to face me and I notice she looks like she is in shock.

"I don't understand!" she yells in my face, causing me to step back slightly.

"Understand what…?"

"This-" she waves something in my face and I wonder if Rose Weasley has finally cracked and cannot do an essay. "Or any of it!"

"Any of _what?_ " I ask frustrated as we are still standing in the portrait hole.

"VIVIAN NOTT! She is _married_ to Albus but she is _pregnant_ with James' baby!" she screams. Oh shit. I think the entire common room just heard that. I look down at her hand and realise it was not an essay she was waving in my face but the Daily Prophet… looks like she still read the weddings too.

"Rose," I say sternly, desperate to get her out of public hearing even though I suspect that damage has already been done. "I think we should talk about this somewhere _private_." I grab her arm and steers her towards our dorm, the minute I opens the door she begin screaming again. I casts _Muffliato_ so no one else can hear me.

"It doesn't make any sense! Why would she marry _Albus_? Surely she should have married James! Why would Albus marry _her_ anyway? Why did no one tell me anything? Albus is my closest cousin – after you of course – and he didn't say a word, not a single _word_!"

"Rose!" I snap. "Shut up and listen to me." She sits down at my words.

"You _know_…" she whispers accusingly.

"Yes, I know-" I decide to be honest, "-and no, I will not tell you how I know. I just do. Seriously Rose, you really need to learn when to keep your mouth _shut_! Now the entire common room heard you yelling all that stuff out and half of it isn't even _true_!" I start pacing, worried about the effect this is going to have on Vivian. "Yes, Albus and Vivian are married… but she is _not_ pregnant with James' baby."

"Oh."

"She's pregnant with _Al's_."

"Ohhhh… Wait, _what?_" Rose looks completely confused now.

"Shut up and listen!" I snap again. "Before Easter, Al and Vivian slept together and she got pregnant. At the ministry ball thing, James danced with her because he wanted to know what had made Al so attracted to her. He ended up kissing her. She and James were sort of seeing each other, I don't think she really knew what was going on between them, it's all a bit complicated. Anyway, I think Zabini said something to her and she broke up with James… You still with me?" I add on, seeing the confused look has not disappeared from her face.

"Uh… I think so?"

"Right, well James was gutted, obviously and that's why he was acting all weird and stuff. Anyway, I'm not really sure how it happened but she is married to _Albus_ and _Albus_ is the father of her baby."

"But she and Al never _talk_…"

"I know, it doesn't make a lot of sense to me either but that's all I know," I sigh, slumping down on the bed next to her. It's true, I still don't really understand how they ended up married but I guess that's something only they really know.

"And now all those people think she is pregnant with James' kid… Crap."

"You can say that again," I glare at her.

"But why would Al marry her if he knew James was in love with her?"

"Beats me…" I sigh again, wondering what the hell was going on in Vivian's head.

~x~

Sitting with Scorpius again, I wonder what the best way to stop people gossiping about Vivian. It is getting ridiculous, unfounded rumours are flying around and I although Vivian claims it doesn't bother her, I can tell it does.

"Scorp…" I murmur as he continues to kiss my neck.

"Mmm…" he replies.

"Do you think we are ready?"

"Ready for what?" he asks, pulling back to look in my face.

"To face the music so to speak."

"What do you mean?"

"Do you think we are ready to, you know, go public?" He looks quizzically at me. "I mean it would distract people from Vivian and I'm getting tired of sneaking around like this, I want to be able to do this-" I plant a quick kiss on his lips, "-whenever I want."

"I would like to do that too," he sighs. "And I know I'm ready to face a horde of furious Weasleys – I'd face anything for you – but are you sure you are ready for that?"

"Yes, I'm going to have to face them some time," I shrug and kiss him again, he doesn't pull away. Instead, he pushes me down onto the floor and deepens the kiss, running his hand over my robes. Grabbing his hand, I guide it under my shirt and I can feel him smile against my lips as he begins tracing patterns on the bare skin of my stomach. "Scorp…" I gasp as he runs his hand down, stroking the sensitive skin by my waist line. His other hand is tangled in my hair. I wrap my legs around him and pull him closer, unable to get enough of him. Fiddling with his buttons, I take off his shirt and run my hands down his beautifully toned abs. Oh Merlin.

"Roxie, Roxie," he mutters in amusement at the look of need on my face. He bends down and kisses me again, trailing kisses down my neck and onto my chest as he unbuttons my shirt. "You're beautiful," he whispers.

"Scorp…" I moan slightly as he continues to trace patterns on my bare flesh. His hand is going lower and lower until he reaches the line of my underwear. He gives me a questioning look and I nod. My whole body tingles as he slips his hand under the flimsy cloth and he begins exploring with his fingers. Oh Sweet Merlin. He is good at that. He slips one finger in as he continues kissing me and I rub my leg against his in pleasure.

My eyes close as he continues to pulse inside me, two fingers now. My breath starts coming in short pants as I grasp a hold of his hair and pull him closer to me. Thrusting in time with his pulses. Oh Merlin. Oh Merlin. Oh Merlin.

~x~

"Come _on_ Max!" I urge as he fiddles with the straps on his bag. "We're gonna be late and Zabini will give us detention!" The three of us – Max, Albus and I – run from the common room and down to the dungeons. Rose is helping Hagrid out with something so gets to miss Potions the lucky git… She also gets to miss me and Scorpius going public. I thought about telling her first, she is my best friend after all, but decided against it as she probably wouldn't be able to keep her mouth shut.

Opening the door of the Potions classroom, I realise with relief that Zabini isn't here yet. I spot Scorpius and Vivian at the back of the classroom and while Max and Albus head to our normal table, I veer off course and move towards them. Scorpius pulls out a chair for me and I take a seat. Vivian looks slightly amused. After a few moments the anticipated whispers break out. I smile at Scorpius and take his hand before turning to see Albus staring at us. He just stares as if struggling to comprehend what he is seeing.

Then, with a movement so fast, barely anyone realises what he is doing and that proves he is his father's son, Albus pulls out his wand and aims a curse straight at Scorpius…

* * *

**Hello again, hope you liked it, sorry for the cliff-hanger! Reviews are very much appreciated but thanks for reading it anyway. If you're interested in character appearance or want to ask questions etc. just visit my blog, the link is on my profile page ~ GirlOnTheSidelines**


	9. Accused

**Chapter Nine – Accused**

**_May 2022_**

With the protectiveness of a Beater, Vivian's shield is up less than a second after Albus fires his curse, causing it to rebound and disappear. For a few moments, I stand in shock, unable to take in exactly what just happened. Albus has never been the type to just fire curses, he has an even slower temper than me… except when I'm dealing with Scorpius but I don't think that was so much my temper.

"AL!" I scream when my voice decides to work again. "What the hell do you think you are doing?" He looks furious; I don't think I have ever seen him quite so mad before.

"What am _I_ doing?" he spits in disgust. "What are _you_ doing?"

"You tried to hex him – are you mad?" I continue screaming, Albus Potter would normally _never_ do such an irrational thing.

"He was holding your _hand_!" he protests, looking in horror at our still conjoined hands.

"Because I _let_ him! Besides, that doesn't give you an excuse to _hex_ him!"

"But- but- it's _Malfoy_!" he struggles to comprehend the notion that anything like his could possibly even happen… a little hypocritical if you ask me, he is _married_ to a Slytherin.

"I know who he is! In fact, I know a hell of a lot more about him that you do because I actually took the time to talk to him!" I defend Scorpius, knowing that if this is the reaction I get from _Albus_… the rest of my family are going to be impossible. I might not even live through it. I am so glad Rose isn't here now.

"Talk! That didn't look like _talking_!" he practically screeches. Yes, well I'm just about to tell you _everything_ I do with Scorpius, am I? I would really rather _not_ cause you to have a premature heart attack Al, because you are my second favourite cousin… after Rose of course.

"Oh shut up Potter, you're a fine one to talk," a third voice joins our shouting match. It takes me a few moments to realise it is Vivian. Every eye in the room turns their attention away from me and Albus to the small Slytherin girl on my left. The anger is swiped from Al's face at her words and he looks at her with an unreadable expression. I suddenly wonder what exactly my cousin feels for this girl. No one has spoken to him about her and no one really knows _why_ he married her… I might have to ask him at some point. Vivian stares back determinedly at him.

"Today we will be making Strengthening Potion, as it takes a few days to mature, we will finish it next lesson…" Zabini enter the room, not even looking up as speaks – entirely oblivious to what just happened in his classroom. He begins to explain the uses of the potion when he realises no one is really listening to him. "Mr Potter… Miss Weasley… Mr Malfoy… May I ask why you are all standing up?"

I blush furiously as the attention is reinstated on me and Scorpius. Scorpius mutters and apology before we sit down again and he threads our fingers together, underneath the table this time. Albus just stays frozen to the spot, staring at Vivian.

"Mr Potter….?" Zabini queries. Vivian glares at Al once again and at last, he turns away to sit next to a slightly dazed Max. The rest of the Potions lesson passes in complete silence; the droning of Zabini's voice is the only other sound to our breathing. Albus resumes staring at Vivian while she refused to meet his eye. The rest of the class fixes their attention on Zabini and the potion in front of them, no doubt in fear Al will send a curse their way too.

As the lesson finishes and we all filter out of the Potions classroom, I can see Lara, Nina and Madison throwing confused glances at me, Scorpius and Vivian. Suddenly, a look of shock registers on Lara's face and she takes off at a run, shouting 'Rose' over her shoulder. Oh crap. Because that is exactly how I want my best friend finding out. Although, Rose has never really _hated_ Scorpius the way the rest of my family has, I'm hoping she will be the most understanding. Nina and Madison still look unsure about whether or not to approach us; I think they have decided against it. Albus has already vanished.

"It will be fine," Scorpius whispers in my ear, giving my hand a tight squeeze. "Vivian thinks we should just go to the Great Hall instead of setting off the rumours with a disappearance. Besides, this way they will know exactly what is going on rather than all the, uh, guessing they did with Vivian…" he whispers quietly so that not even Vivian – who is standing on his other side – can hear. I just nod.

Everyone around us is whispering and shooting furtive glances our way. The Entrance Hall is packed with students as we try and make our way to Great Hall. Suddenly, I hear someone shout my name as the doors of the Great Hall fly open and a girl with flaming red hair comes storming out.

"I can't _believe_ you!" Rose screams, coming to a halt in front of me. The entire Hall – which seeing as it is meal time, it packed with students and staff – is staring at us. "How could you _do_ this is me? Surely you must have known how I felt! Surely you must have KNOWN I was in love with him! How COULD you!"

My mind goes completely blank. I cannot process her words.

"Rose-" I manage to choke out as she takes a step closer.

"You used to tell me everything! I thought you were my _friend_… And if that's not bad enough, you are my _cousin_, we are _family_." I am vaguely aware Rose has tears streaming down her face. "We are supposed to stick together not go stabbing each other in the back!"

I just stare at her.

"I can't believe it…" she continues to sob. In the corner of my eye, I catch her arm rising, I know what she is about to do but I cannot make my body move to defend myself. I just don't understand. Her palm makes an echoing sound as it comes into contact with my face. Still no one moves.

"HOW COULD YOU!" Rose screams one last time in my face before running from the Entrance Hall to the outbreak of whispers. I can sense people moving around me but I cannot seem to make by body respond to my thoughts.

"Roxanne!" someone yells in my face and for a moment I think Rose has come back but instead, I look down to see Vivian trying to get my attention. "Come on," she practically forces my stubborn legs to move and drags me from the Entrance Hall in the direction of the kitchens. I am vaguely aware of being pushed through the portrait hole and having Dippy greeting us.

Scorpius is waving a hand in my face, trying to get some kind of response out of me. I just don't understand. It doesn't make sense.

"Well that was unexpected…" Vivian's voice sounds distant.

"I don't understand…" I manage to whisper.

"Well, how should I phrase this?" Vivian begins. "Rose Weasley appears to be in love with Scorpius Malfoy. I know it doesn't sound right but that is the only possible explanation, she claimed to being love with someone and was angry with you, therefor it is only logical that you have taken her 'love interest' so to speak." I still do not understand.

"But- but she would have told me, she would have said something before…" This just cannot be right. Rose cannot be in love with Scorpius. There is just no way. "I had no idea… She tells me everything... It can't be right…" My mind is refusing to work properly; it just cannot seem to register what to Vivian appears obvious. In the back of my mind, I hear Dippy informing is there is a Mistress Coote and a Mistress Jones outside, wanting to see me. As much as I love Lara and Nina, I just need some space to think so am glad Vivian goes to see them, leaving me alone with Scorpius.

"Shhh…" Scorpius murmurs, pulling me into his arms and stroking my hair. "It will be okay, we'll figure it out," he whispers.

"I just don't understand," I being to sob hysterically into his chest as he continues to cradle me against him, pressing feather light kisses into my hair.

The cool wind kisses my face as I lean over the edge of the Astronomy Tower. The stars have come out while I have been standing here. So has the moon. They light up the clear, inky sky as I try to sort through the tumult of my thoughts. After I told Scorpius I would be fine and that I just need some time alone, I had headed up here and have been here ever since.

It had taken a while but I had finally accepted the obvious: Rose Weasley was in love with Scorpius Malfoy. Try as I might, I could not recall any hint of this in the past – she hid it well. I am now faced with a dilemma. As much as I want Scorpius, as much as I think I might be falling for him harder than I had intended… Rose is my best friend. Rose has been by my side through ever problem and every hardship life has ever thrown at me. She is my best friend and I owe her so much.

Deciding at last that the best thing for me to do it to try and apologies to Rose. To talk to her. After I have done that… well, we will just have to see how things pan out.

The Gryffindor common room is eerily empty as I make my way to the dorms. Nina, Lara and Madison are all asleep in their respective beds but Rose's bed, much like my own, remains unslept in. Choosing to gain _some_ sleep before what will no doubt be a long day tomorrow, I crawl under the covers still fully dressed and drift into a fitful sleep.

I dream of Scorpius. I dream of the way he makes me feel like nothing could ever hurt me. I dream I am in his arms rather than the chilly sheets of my four poster bed. They are all dreams of course.

By morning, I am more tired than I was before I went to sleep, the three girls must have left earlier and Rose's bed has not been slept in at all. I reluctantly crawl out of bed and head over to the bathroom. I look a mess, tear tracks are still evident on my face and my uniform is dishevelled. I strip it off and jump in the shower, letting the warm water run soothingly over my skin.

I quickly towel dry my hair before finding some clean uniform and throwing it on, then using a charm Rose taught me, I dry it fully. I am just throwing some books into my bad when the dormitory door opens and Rose wanders in, looking tired beyond belief.

"Rose…" I practically whisper. She snaps her head around to see me. I try to form the words to apologies but she just glares at me before running from the dorm again. I chase after her. "Rose!" I yell at her retreating back, "Please…_please_ just listen to me! I had no idea! If I had known then I would _never_ have even _thought_ about Scorpius in that way!" I am vaguely aware that all the students still in the common room are listening. Rose she heads straight for the portrait hole without even acknowledging she heard me.

The next few days pass in a similar fashion. Rose will not even look at me and has taken to leaving the room whenever I enter. Potions is the worst, as much as I want to sit with Scorp and Vivian, I don't want to hurt Rose any more than I already have so I sit in my old spot next to Al and Max – Rose came in, saw this and immediately turned away to sit on the opposite side of the room with Lara, Nina and Madison. Even Zabini has noticed something is wrong.

"Miss Weasley is there a particular reason you have chosen to move tables so close to your exams?" he asked last lesson, peering down at Rose who glared back at him and said nothing. I think he enjoys torturing students. In fact, the only students he has not been giving hell in the run up to our exams are Albus and Vivian.

Albus currently looks like death incarnate. Ned came to me the other day and asked if he was ill and just keeping quiet about it. I have tried to talk to him but he won't listen, he just stares at me blankly before getting up and leaving. I am not going to lie: it hurts a little bit. At the beginning of the year, if someone had told Albus, Rose and I that we would not be talking to each other by the time our OWLs came around, we would have laughed in their face. As it is, no one is laughing anymore.

So now here I am, in the Owlery – a place that I have recently discovered as a sort of sanctuary – wondering what on earth has happened to my life. My best friend hates me because I fell for the same guy she did, a guy who also happens to be my ex-nemesis and who I cannot spend a day without thinking about. My cousin is married at the age of sixteen to a woman who he cannot even look at and who is also carrying his child. James has come out of his sulking phase and has taken up screwing girls over – his latest conquest being Alice Longbottom, a family friend. My brother is still on touchy terms with my dad because of the revelation of his namesake. My dad is worrying about the shop, my mum is worrying about my dad and I feel completely useless stuck in this castle.

On top of all that, I have OWLs coming up and the rest of my family is still mad at me because I am with Scorpius Malfoy – or at least the family who know about it (I haven't had a howler from Uncle Ron yet so I am guessing no one has told him).

"Roxie?" a deep voice asks from behind me. I turn to see the familiar figure of Scorpius Malfoy approaching me. "Is this where you've been hiding?" he asks jokingly but I can detect and element of worry in his voice.

"Hey Scorp," I sigh. He comes and wraps his arms around me and I sink into them, his chin resting on top of my head as we look out over the grounds.

"How've you been?"

"Not great," I reply honestly. Because let's face it – I haven't exactly been on the top of the world with all that is going on. He murmurs into my hair and I feel a sudden urge to crying again. But I don't because I am Roxanne Weasley and I do not cry. Not normally anyway. Looking over the railing, I can see a figure with flaming red hair standing by the lake. Alone. "Scorp, there's something I need to do," I turn and kiss him lightly on the lips before running down the staircase and into the grounds.

The lake is shimmering in the fading light. I can make out a bunch of Third Years splashing in the shallows; I think Hugo and Lily are among them. Locating the redheaded figure, I head straight towards her. She does not turn around at the sound of my footsteps and I suspect she is trying to ignore my presence.

"Rose…?" I ask hesitantly. She does not respond. "Rose, please listen to me," I beg. She still does not turn around. "This is getting ridiculous. You are my best friend and you know full well that I would never have done anything to upset you like this on purpose. If you had just told me how you felt, we would never have been in this situation in the first place…" Okay that came out a bit wrong. "But that makes it sound like I'm blaming you – I'm not, I just…" Please Rose, just turn around. "This is as much – if not more – my fault than yours, I should have told you first about me and Scorp-" she flinches at his name and I hastily correct myself. "About me and Malfoy but I just…" For fucks sake Rose, just look at me. "I had no idea Rose; I honestly had no idea…"

She does not react. She just stands there, staring across the lake. It is almost like if she looks away, the entire world will fall apart. Please Rose… Just turn around. I need my best friend back.

"I know you're angry with me and I can't blame you but please, just talk to me… we can work this out. I need my best friend back…" I trail off, hoping this would elicit some form of response. She doesn't move. I have half a mind to just shake her until she cracks and acknowledges my existence – that would at least be some improvement. I remember the times when we were younger and either of us was hurt, the other would comfort them and let them cry on their shoulder… It was normally Rose crying on mine but right now, I wish I could cry on hers. This is all becoming a bit much for me, there is only so much I can take. I am only human after all.

I don't know how long I stand there, hoping in vain that she will just turn around and let me cry into her arms. How had I managed to lose my best friend? When it is at last clear she is not going to say anything, I turn and head back to the castle before I do or say something stupid.

It has suddenly dawned on me what I have to do and I know it is going to half kill me to do it. But family comes first. I know instinctively that he will be in the kitchens, the place we always met, the place where I began to fall for him… The place I fell for him. Because I had, I had well are truly fallen for Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy which is only going to make this so much harder to do.

"Scorp…" I take a deep breath as I enter the kitchen. He is sitting by the fire just where I knew he would be. He gets up at the sound of my voice. "I can't do this," it comes out in a half whisper.

"Do what Rox?" his voice is verging on panic and I can tell he knows exactly what I mean.

"I'm so sorry," I clench my jaw to stop myself crying. This is killing me. "I just can't," I shake my head to emphasis my point. "Family comes first Scorp," I whisper, turning away completely to hide the expression on my face. I do not cry. I cannot afford to. He doesn't say anything and I run straight back out of the portrait hole and towards the Owlery, not caring for the students who complain as I push them aside.

Thankfully, the Owlery is empty as I sink to the ground feeling completely empty.

The next few days are possibly the hardest in my life so far. Scorpius and I try our very best to be civil to each other, in a brief conversation I had with him, we decided to try and remain friends but I can see that the idea was just a hopeless dream. I have fallen too hard for him to just be his friend. We eventually stop talking and I have become determined not to even look at him because it just reminds me of all the things we could have had.

"Roxanne!" Nina shouts at me down the corridor, I turn as she flings her arms around me. "I'm sorry I haven't been there for you – I am such a crap friend! Everything is such a mess and I'm sorry and I hope you will forgive me and I just don't know what to do anymore and-"

"Calm down Nina," I smile faintly. "Don't worry about it; I have needed time to think so you've actually been doing me a favour…"

"Still, I should have been there for you," she protests and I just smile – it is good to know someone cares. "So… Are you going to introduce us? I will _try_ not to insult his Slytheriness but I can make no promises," she grins wickedly and my heart constricts in my chest.

"Chocolate Frogs," I mutter to the Fat Lady, slamming open the portrait in frustration.

"Rox…?" Nina asks hesitantly.

"We're not together anymore," I practically snap at her as we climb into the common room.

"_What_?" she hisses in return. "Please, _please_ tell me this has nothing to do with Rose; she is being completely out of order!" I notice her glancing to the other side of the common room where Rose is currently sitting with her back to us.

"We were stupid to think we could ever make it work," I reply evasively. "I mean a Weasley and a Malfoy… _come on_!" Nina looks furious as she begins to march over to Rose and I make a mad dash for the dormitories.

* * *

**Author's Note:**** Hello lovely readers! Hope you liked it and let me know what you think, also check out my blog if you have free time ~ GirlOnTheSidelines x**


	10. Rejection

**Chapter Ten – Rejection**

**_June 2022_**

I tried, I honestly did. I tried to prove to Rose that she was more important to me than Scorpius could ever be; that her friendship was more important than anything a guy could give me. But she would not listen. In fact, she would not even look at me. In the end, I gave up. In the end, I accepted that only time could heal the wounds I had unintentionally inflicted one her. In the end, I realised there was nothing more I could do.

So why am I so mad?

It has been three weeks since Rose has spoken to me. Three weeks without my best friend. I had to endure OWLs without her constant nagging for us to revise, I didn't have her talking endlessly about how the exams went when we had finished. Nothing. She just ignored my very existence and now I am mad. Really, really, _really_ mad. Because what else could I have done? I never _meant_ for any of this to happen! Did she honestly think I _wanted_ her hurt her? Was she that _stupid_?

Albus isn't helping either. I am seriously starting to worry about him – I haven't seen him smile since we got back from the Easter holidays. I miss my care free cousin. He used to so happy all the time, he used to laugh and pull pranks on poor unsuspecting Third Years with James… I haven't seen him and James together for a while either. I don't understand what is going through Al's head. He used to be so grounded, so completely realistic and open to new ideas. Now he is just a close book. I have a very sneaking suspicion that I know why he married her. But I cannot be right, I mean, he never used to _speak_ to Vivian… I see her around occasionally as well but she seems distracted and her friendship with Scorpius is much stronger than any friendship she ever had with me so I cannot blame her for keeping her distance.

Scorpius. I miss him more than I thought I was capable of. When I see him around, I have to resist the urge to turn and run back down the corridor. I can sometimes feel his eyes on me and it takes all my will power not to turn around and look him in the eye, letting him know how much I miss him. I don't dare go to the kitchens anymore in case he is there… besides, the memories would be a little overwhelming.

So lost in thought, I stride around the corner and straight into a hulk of muscle that towers over me, which is quite an achievement seeing as I am the tallest girl in Hogwarts. Looking up, my eyes become fixed on a pair of silvery grey ones. Oh Merlin he is so close. I realise my hands are on his chest as he stares down at me, his face a closed mask.

"Weasley," he says slowly, as if unsure if he should say anything at all. At the sound of his deep, husky voice, all my anger and frustration overflows and I grab his forearm and drag him behind me. He does not say a word and neither do I. I just drag him down one corridor and then another, up several flights of stairs and down more corridors. Still clutching onto his forearm, I begin to pace up and down in front of a blank wall.

"Roxanne… what are you doing?" he asks hesitantly. I ignore him. "Rox, is something wrong?"

The door appears in front of me and I shove it open roughly, still ignoring Scorpius' questions as I drag him into the dimly lit room. The Room of Requirement has served me well. I turn to shut the door behind us and smile slightly as I hear a loud click as the door locks itself. Scorpius looks bewildered as I push him up against the door.

The fire I had unknowingly been missing relights in the pit of my stomach as I begin to kiss him. I do not know how long I kiss him for but the anger is still coursing through my taunt body as I hook a finger into the rim of his trousers and pull him forward. Feeling the edges of the bed the room had so kindly provided for me against the back of my knees and I let myself fall, pulling Scorpius down with me.

We continue kissing as I roll him over onto his back and climb on top of him. The anger turning to an energy and determination I never knew I had. His hands are tangled in my hair as he pulls me closer to deepen our kiss. I sink into him a moment before pulling away and trailing kisses down his neck and over his chest, undoing the buttons on his shirt to give me access to his beautifully toned abs. Merlin this boy is hot.

He groans as I run my hands over his chest. Even his groan sends shivers running down my body. His eyes flicker open as I stop running my hands over him and he looks up in confusion to see me slowly undoing the buttons of my own shirt. By now I am sat on top of him, a leg either side. He just watches me as I begin to pull my shirt off to reveal his favourite bra… It is complete coincidence that I am wearing it today; I haven't worn it since I chose Rose over him. The thought of Rose makes me angry again and I yank the shirt from my arms and bend down to continue our kiss.

Kissing Scorpius is like drinking an entire cauldron of Euphoria inducing potion. Seriously, there is nothing I would rather do… Well, almost nothing. Breaking away from our kiss again, causing Scorpius to huff in irritation, I run my hands down to the buckle of his belt. His entire body stiffens beneath me. He stops running his hands up my thighs and just stares at me. I smirk at him just as the buckle comes undone.

"What are you doing?" he asks, his voice husky with lust. I just grin at him, lifting myself up slightly to push his trousers down. Looking back up to his face, I am somewhat disgruntled to see he is still looking confused… and a little scared. "Roxie… Seriously, what are you doing?"

"What does it look like I am doing Scorpius," I purr.

"Roxie, I really don't think this is a good idea…" he murmurs. I look up at him in shock.

"What do you mean?" I can feel my body go cold as he wiggles away from underneath me, pulling his trousers back up. I stay froze by the edge of the bed as he stands up, fiddling with the buttons on his shirt.

"I just… I just…" he stutters, looking uncomfortable.

"You just what Malfoy?" I spit, noticing with delight that he flinches at the use of his last name. "What's wrong? Are you not up for it; are you afraid that you won't be able to live up to your reputation?" I sneer, hardly caring how much of a low blow it is. "Think you can't handle me Malfoy? Is that it?"

"No _Weasley_, I just don't want _my_ first time to be with a girl who is just doing it because she is mad and who will probably regret it in the morning!" I stare at him in absolute shock. Then the blinding red rage sweeps across my vision at his lies; I launch myself at him, intent on bruising every inch of his flesh. He grabs a hold of my arms and pins my flailing body to the door. "Calm _down_ Roxanne!" he orders. I just keep kicking at him until he presses his entire body against me so that I cannot actually move.

"Get off me Malfoy you lying bastard!" I yell.

"Come on Roxie," his voice has taken on a pleading tone. "I'm just trying to do the right bloody thing! I don't want you to be mad at me later for allowing you to do something you'll regret – it's not like you really want to lose your virginity just because you are angry with Rose, it won't make you feel any better and it is a crap idea for revenge anyway," he sighs.

"Who says I'm a virgin Malfoy?" I sneer, trying to make him uncomfortable enough to let me go. For a second I think I have succeeded as he pulls away slightly but then I see the look on his face and realise he doesn't believe me. The blush that crawls onto my cheeks confirms my lie.

"Look Roxanne… I am crazy about you but I either want _all_ of you or nothing. I cannot do this half-hearted business with just an occasional kissing session here and there. I want _you_ Roxanne, not just your body," he sighs, pressing his fore head to mine.

"I can't-" I choke out. I cannot betray Rose again. Closing my eyes so that I don't risk losing myself in his endless grey ones, I hear him sigh in resignation.

"It doesn't really matter what you say now Roxanne because we both know that you will not be able to survive without me for long. We _will_ end up together because that is just the way things are supposed to be. I _want_ to be yours, Rox and I know that deep down, you want to be mine. It is fate, if you will," he shrugs, at last pulling away from me and pushing me out of the way so that he can open the door and disappear down the deserted corridor.

The door swings shut again as I slide down the wall. The tears I had been biting back overflow as I sink to the floor, resting my head on my knees and letting myself cry out all of my anger at Rose, my frustration with myself and the hurt of Scorpius' rejection. Because that is what this feels like: rejection. I feel as if I wasn't good enough for him, as if I didn't deserve him… as if he didn't want me. Because he didn't did he? He left. He didn't want me.

My whole body wracks with sobs as I continue to cry my eyes out on the floor. Well at least I'm not in a toilet cubicle like most girls. My cheeks are burning red with embarrassment and anger. How could he do this to me? I thought he wanted me. I thought he would be happy… I didn't think he would scarper as soon as he realised what I was suggesting.

Wiping the tears from my face, I look up to see the Room of Requirement has proved me with a mirror and tissues – it truly is amazing. Fred made sure that James showed it to me in my First Year; he would never tell me how he found it though. It has come in handy a few times, especially when all the cousins wanted to have a catch up away from the rest of the student body. I have never shown it to anyone before… I probably should not have shown it to Scorpius, it is a family secret.

I clean my face up, and retrieve my shirt. Scorpius' words playing over and over in my head: _I want to be yours, Rox and I know that deep down, you want to be mine. _He was right of course, about me wanting to be his at least. I had never understood that before, how someone could want to belong to someone… it is a weird feeling. And he wanted to be mine? I found that harder to believe. How could he still want me after everything…? I had hurt him both physically and emotionally and yet he claims to still want to be mine? It just doesn't make sense. How can one person be so screwed up?

The corridors are still empty as I creep back to the common room. I have to wake the Fat Lady to let me in which she does not appreciate… it must be later than I thought. How long was I _in_ the Room of Requirement? No one is in the common room – it really must be late – so I head up to my dorm. As is becoming usual, Rose is in bed with her curtains pulled shut. Madison is also asleep but her curtains are still wide open.

"Hey Roxie," Nina smiles as I walk in. I join her on Lara's bed, eager for some mindless babbling gossip to get my mind off of Scorpius and the embarrassment I still feel. "You okay? Where've you been?"

"The Owlery," I lie. It is a plausible lie though; I have been spending an awful lot of time in the Owlery lately. "You look like you were in the middle of an intense gossiping session, anything interesting?" Nina glances at Lara and Lara buries her face in her pillow. "I'll take that as a yes… spill," I order.

"Well… You know Connor Hudson in Hufflepuff?" Nina asks grinning at Lara. "He and Lara went on a date last Hogsmeade trip and since then-"

"He asked me to be his girlfriend!" Lara squeals, in a hurry to get to the point.

"Connor Hudson… He's the Beater on the Hufflepuff team right? I think he was my first Hogsmeade date in Third Year," I laugh.

"Well he's all mine now," Lara sticks her tongue out at me and I cannot help but laugh, letting my embarrassment drift to the back of my mind as I gossip with my friends. I have missed this… The only thing that would make it better would be if Rose were gossiping with us rather than sleeping with her curtains drawn.

The last week of school passes in a blur. Lara spends a lot of time with Connor and Madison has gone off with some Sixth Year Ravenclaw with nice hair… I'll give them two weeks at best. As a result, Nina and I spend most of our time together, it is kind of nice to have her just to myself, she is such a calming influence and never asks questions that she knows I don't want to answer. She is trying her hardest to be civil to Rose but I can tell that it is bothering her that Rose is being so stubborn. Welcome to the club Nina.

My relief as the Hogwarts Express pulls away from Hogsmeade is almost overwhelming. As much as I love Hogwarts, I really need a break at the moment. I watch as the imposing figure of the castle merges into its surroundings as the train speeds away.

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**Hello my dear readers, hope you liked it and updates should be a little more frequent now! GirlOnTheSidelines xx**


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